Fortune Cookie???

I had dinner last night with Terri. It was heated and rough as I stood my ground with my feelings that she didn't like. We ate at Hu Hot and got some fortune cookies.

Mine said "Traveling to the south will bring unexpected happiness."

Hers said "Things will look brighter three months down the road."

WOW makes one think!

hmmmmmm

WOW People still READ this?

Then here is a teaser.
The Ocean Breeze Suites have one air-conditioned bedroom, a very spacious deck as well as a large living area with ceiling fans, mini bar and full bathroom. The private hot tub on the deck of the suite is the perfect spot to relax and observe spectacular sunset views.
Breakfast is included… as well as a round trip 20 minutes flight (small airplane) from the International Airport to hotel – Otherwise, it would be a 2hours 30 minutes ride in the car!!!

Gator's Update

It is softball season. Life is PACKED right now with weekend full of ballparks. Here is an example of what I am living right now.

Saturday left home at 5am with daughter to south Denver. She played a softball game at 8am. We got back in the truck and drove home and went to son’s graduation. During the graduation my sister and I got in a fight with some biotch and we all almost got thrown out of the gym. We then went to my son’s graduation party, and followed that at my niece’s graduation party with a final top of watching the Nuggets lose.

Sunday again up early and drove to south Denver. The gates were closed and they told us thanks for driving down but you will have to come back on Monday as the tournament has been changed. Pissed we headed back north to home. When the cell phone in North Denver. They decided we all needed to play at noon again in Highlands Ranch. We all turned around and drove back across Denver and prepped to play. After some fighting with Wife the game started. We lost and again drove back to FTC. I went to a local park in FTC and watched a friend’s son play some baseball that afternoon and then went and saw the movie Terminator. It was ok.

Monday I slept in. Went to Starbucks for a coffee. Then went and met friend again and watched another game of baseball. After that went home did some chores and met my parents and sister and her husband for some food at Red Robin. Drank a couple of watermelon margs and enjoyed their company. After that I went to another friends and watched the Nuggets WIN!!!

Went home and on FB noticed some pictures. I looked at them and recognized a lot of things in the pictures. They contained a gal that I really liked and decided to hurt me by not talking to me anymore at all. The silence and the way she pulled her move hurts and killed a piece of me. I will never again open up and share to the level I had shared with this gal my feelings. I did it with my soon to be ex-wife and she took everything I said and turned it and tore me up for years. I met this gal confided in her and shared my feelings only to have them again RIPPED apart.
SO I don’t really share much on here very often because sharing is bad and I have not figured out what is safe to share and what is not. If you want updates keep yelling eventually I will type something but it maybe high level stuff.

My Grandma Passed Her Euology

My mom asked if I was going to speak for Grandma like I did for Grandpa when he passed. At first with all the areas of my own life in turmoil I didn’t know what to get up and say that would make sense. Though like most things in my life if I give it a little time ideas started rolling through my head. This morning I woke and decided I needed to share a small piece of what I noticed and learned from Grandma.

Due to things happening in my life I have had a bit more time on my hands. With this time I was able to get to see grandma more in the last few months then I had in some the previous years. I think when all is good in our life we take things for granted. We forget the important people in our lives. Then when things turn for the worse we look at and try to cram and catch up. I know I have done this with Grandma and with that I hope to write a lesson one - to take the time to nurture relationships and spend more time with family, for tomorrow they can be taken from us.

Over the last couple months I would sneak in to see Grandma sometimes at 10pm. I sat there with her talking in the dark and in one of our conversations she asked me if I wanted to know anything. Being a curious person by nature I said yes. I always have something I want to learn and for the next hour I asked Grandma question after question. She answered each one. That night I learned more about Grandma then I thought possible. One question I asked her was “have you ever smoked pot?” She looked at me laughing and said “NO”, but there was a small glimmer of tease that left me wondering. Grandma seemed to smile and laugh at me often when I came to see her. Maybe because of the silly questions, maybe because she saw a piece of Grandpa’s joking ways. Second lesson learned is take time to listen and just not hear. Listening to someone “IS” love and can open many more questions and leave both parties, in this case Grandma and me, with warm feelings.

As we all know, Grandma was a tough and strong lady. She physically worked hard beside Grandpa, making a living to help support the family. She had that special relationship with Grandpa, that connection, that partnership, that closeness that drove her to be with him. Even when Grandpa passed she was still attached to him at some core level that we can all look at with amazement. I can’t remember anytime while visiting with Grandma that Grandpa didn’t come up in the conversation at some point. Grandma showed her love in strange ways sometimes to us, but to Grandpa she never once wavered a thought otherwise. My sister, Kary would say she not only loved Grandpa but she LIKED who and what made him. If you take this next lesson to heart then Grandma really has not left us but only changed how we learn from her. The third Lesson learned is to look for the inner core values in people and who they truly are and then cherish them for that, and if you find that level in someone as Grandma did for Grandpa then they really never leave us, they are part of us. Grandma left a piece of herself in all of us, hold it, nurture it, listen to it, and most of all cherish it.

Saving a Butt Kicking

OK OK OK Gator. Here is a brief update.

I been working my butt off and doing a bit of travel. I am still living at my sisters. Moving forward with the separation as it holds now. AND instead of update this blog as much I been updating my facebook a bunch more. It is easier to do.
Here is an example of this week so far.

Heal still hurting but I did 2 mile run on Saturday. Lived through it and took Sunday off. Monday night I did 2.5 miles on the elliptical and then reffed my first 2 men’s league basketball games. I posted the comment I got from the league in this post below. I got to bed around midnight, could not sleep and filly at 4am got up and went to a 5am spin class and 6am weight class. I worked out 4.5 hours and slept about 3. Then finally made it to my room around 9:30 pm and instead of crashing worried about life, a friend, and other things all night, went to spinning again this am. I AM DRAINING!!!

Here is what I got from the Reffing.
"I just wanted to let you know that you did a great job reffing last night. For your first two games reffing it was spectacular. Especially considering how tough and rough that 8:30 game was."

Beginning the Holidays.

Well thought I would update again quickly. It seems a few people think I must be a bit of Grinch. WELL I don’t think I am. Here are a few reasons why.

1) I have already a put the lights on the house over a week ago so the outside of the house is already festive.
2) Even though I am not living at home with my wife and kids I am taking them to get cut a Christmas Tree in the mountains on Sunday for the house.
3) I am the last (7th) person in a lineup of participants for the last CAMAedian standing for our company Christmas Party
4) I participate in the Secret Santa gift exchange at my company.
5) I went and bought a small tree, lights, and tree trimmings and then went and took it to my grandmother’s hospital room to help her with the Christmas Spirit.

Thus though it is thought I am a bit of a hard guy I would like it known I am more of a big soft Teddy Bear. I do like the holidays most years and wish that they would be more about the spirit of treating people good then about the gifts. Small gifts like a tree for someone you love that is sick or participating with caroling or in making people laugh and giving of yourself should be the reason.

PS for a little holiday cheer try setting off all the moving noisy Christmas animals at Wal-Mart and then watch the employee look down that isle and chuckle.

Happy Thanksgiving

Update on my health is as follows. I was wearing a cast type boot for 5 weeks to allow my Achilles to heal. I got it off a week ago and thought my heal is sore I have moved with it and felt better. I have also this week begun to try to start spinning classes again. It is a bit painful and beginning to work up in exercise I can already know is going to be slow. Chest pains have almost stopped though occasionally hit me when stress levels get too high. I been monitoring them and keeping them under control.

My wife didn’t like our counselor and went out and get herself a new one, Marilyn. She has visited with her a couple times and liked her and then scheduled me to go with her. I declined as I didn’t want to defend myself with her there and me never meeting this new counselor. I did agree to see Marilyn on my own though, which I did yesterday. After some interesting talks the Marilyn she said I think it would be best that you don’t live together and would want to talk to the wife next week and then again with me and the wife to start a paper of separation agreements. This did not surprise me as I know Greg, my counselor has been working on that but wife didn’t like hearing that. The second opinion is now going to be hitting her.

Then my mom had Knee surgery so she is still healing and needing help. My mom’s mother is also VERY sick and is dying, So mom is sad and emotional as we deal with her healing. AND I have to deal with my grandma dying.

So with work keeping me swamped, my mom healing, and emotional, my grandma dying, my foot hurting and I can’t run, and my marriage ending, I am about at the end of all my ropes. Most people can’t even tell where I am on my emotional strings as I hide them all so well.

ON a good note though since I can’t run right now I volunteered at the local Turkey trot today. Almost 300 runners and walkers went by me. The amount of friends I saw was awesome with some of the stopping to hug me, talk t o me and thank me for helping was awesome to feel. Other people all thanking us for volunteering and greeting me was also nice and this was my first real volunteering at a race as a marshal and I loved it. It was a very rewarding morning from that aspect. I WILL do it again and recommend it for anyone that is interested in running and the such.

I would also like to thank everyone as my friends and support I receive. My each and every one of you have a wonder Thanksgiving day. God Bless you all.