Buggy Time

Fortune Cookie???

2009-06-11T08:11:00.003-06:00

I had dinner last night with Terri. It was heated and rough as I stood my ground with my feelings that she didn't like. We ate at Hu Hot and got some fortune cookies.

Mine said "Traveling to the south will bring unexpected happiness."

Hers said "Things will look brighter three months down the road."

WOW makes one think!

hmmmmmm

WOW People still READ this?

2009-06-05T11:09:00.004-06:00

Then here is a teaser.
The Ocean Breeze Suites have one air-conditioned bedroom, a very spacious deck as well as a large living area with ceiling fans, mini bar and full bathroom. The private hot tub on the deck of the suite is the perfect spot to relax and observe spectacular sunset views.
Breakfast is included… as well as a round trip 20 minutes flight (small airplane) from the International Airport to hotel – Otherwise, it would be a 2hours 30 minutes ride in the car!!!

Gator's Update

2009-05-26T08:15:00.001-06:00

It is softball season. Life is PACKED right now with weekend full of ballparks. Here is an example of what I am living right now.

Saturday left home at 5am with daughter to south Denver. She played a softball game at 8am. We got back in the truck and drove home and went to son’s graduation. During the graduation my sister and I got in a fight with some biotch and we all almost got thrown out of the gym. We then went to my son’s graduation party, and followed that at my niece’s graduation party with a final top of watching the Nuggets lose.

Sunday again up early and drove to south Denver. The gates were closed and they told us thanks for driving down but you will have to come back on Monday as the tournament has been changed. Pissed we headed back north to home. When the cell phone in North Denver. They decided we all needed to play at noon again in Highlands Ranch. We all turned around and drove back across Denver and prepped to play. After some fighting with Wife the game started. We lost and again drove back to FTC. I went to a local park in FTC and watched a friend’s son play some baseball that afternoon and then went and saw the movie Terminator. It was ok.

Monday I slept in. Went to Starbucks for a coffee. Then went and met friend again and watched another game of baseball. After that went home did some chores and met my parents and sister and her husband for some food at Red Robin. Drank a couple of watermelon margs and enjoyed their company. After that I went to another friends and watched the Nuggets WIN!!!

Went home and on FB noticed some pictures. I looked at them and recognized a lot of things in the pictures. They contained a gal that I really liked and decided to hurt me by not talking to me anymore at all. The silence and the way she pulled her move hurts and killed a piece of me. I will never again open up and share to the level I had shared with this gal my feelings. I did it with my soon to be ex-wife and she took everything I said and turned it and tore me up for years. I met this gal confided in her and shared my feelings only to have them again RIPPED apart.
SO I don’t really share much on here very often because sharing is bad and I have not figured out what is safe to share and what is not. If you want updates keep yelling eventually I will type something but it maybe high level stuff.

My Grandma Passed Her Euology

2009-03-03T07:16:00.001-07:00

My mom asked if I was going to speak for Grandma like I did for Grandpa when he passed. At first with all the areas of my own life in turmoil I didn’t know what to get up and say that would make sense. Though like most things in my life if I give it a little time ideas started rolling through my head. This morning I woke and decided I needed to share a small piece of what I noticed and learned from Grandma.

Due to things happening in my life I have had a bit more time on my hands. With this time I was able to get to see grandma more in the last few months then I had in some the previous years. I think when all is good in our life we take things for granted. We forget the important people in our lives. Then when things turn for the worse we look at and try to cram and catch up. I know I have done this with Grandma and with that I hope to write a lesson one - to take the time to nurture relationships and spend more time with family, for tomorrow they can be taken from us.

Over the last couple months I would sneak in to see Grandma sometimes at 10pm. I sat there with her talking in the dark and in one of our conversations she asked me if I wanted to know anything. Being a curious person by nature I said yes. I always have something I want to learn and for the next hour I asked Grandma question after question. She answered each one. That night I learned more about Grandma then I thought possible. One question I asked her was “have you ever smoked pot?” She looked at me laughing and said “NO”, but there was a small glimmer of tease that left me wondering. Grandma seemed to smile and laugh at me often when I came to see her. Maybe because of the silly questions, maybe because she saw a piece of Grandpa’s joking ways. Second lesson learned is take time to listen and just not hear. Listening to someone “IS” love and can open many more questions and leave both parties, in this case Grandma and me, with warm feelings.

As we all know, Grandma was a tough and strong lady. She physically worked hard beside Grandpa, making a living to help support the family. She had that special relationship with Grandpa, that connection, that partnership, that closeness that drove her to be with him. Even when Grandpa passed she was still attached to him at some core level that we can all look at with amazement. I can’t remember anytime while visiting with Grandma that Grandpa didn’t come up in the conversation at some point. Grandma showed her love in strange ways sometimes to us, but to Grandpa she never once wavered a thought otherwise. My sister, Kary would say she not only loved Grandpa but she LIKED who and what made him. If you take this next lesson to heart then Grandma really has not left us but only changed how we learn from her. The third Lesson learned is to look for the inner core values in people and who they truly are and then cherish them for that, and if you find that level in someone as Grandma did for Grandpa then they really never leave us, they are part of us. Grandma left a piece of herself in all of us, hold it, nurture it, listen to it, and most of all cherish it.

Saving a Butt Kicking

2009-01-21T07:58:00.001-07:00

OK OK OK Gator. Here is a brief update.

I been working my butt off and doing a bit of travel. I am still living at my sisters. Moving forward with the separation as it holds now. AND instead of update this blog as much I been updating my facebook a bunch more. It is easier to do.
Here is an example of this week so far.

Heal still hurting but I did 2 mile run on Saturday. Lived through it and took Sunday off. Monday night I did 2.5 miles on the elliptical and then reffed my first 2 men’s league basketball games. I posted the comment I got from the league in this post below. I got to bed around midnight, could not sleep and filly at 4am got up and went to a 5am spin class and 6am weight class. I worked out 4.5 hours and slept about 3. Then finally made it to my room around 9:30 pm and instead of crashing worried about life, a friend, and other things all night, went to spinning again this am. I AM DRAINING!!!

Here is what I got from the Reffing.
"I just wanted to let you know that you did a great job reffing last night. For your first two games reffing it was spectacular. Especially considering how tough and rough that 8:30 game was."

Beginning the Holidays.

2008-12-04T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well thought I would update again quickly. It seems a few people think I must be a bit of Grinch. WELL I don’t think I am. Here are a few reasons why.

1) I have already a put the lights on the house over a week ago so the outside of the house is already festive.
2) Even though I am not living at home with my wife and kids I am taking them to get cut a Christmas Tree in the mountains on Sunday for the house.
3) I am the last (7th) person in a lineup of participants for the last CAMAedian standing for our company Christmas Party
4) I participate in the Secret Santa gift exchange at my company.
5) I went and bought a small tree, lights, and tree trimmings and then went and took it to my grandmother’s hospital room to help her with the Christmas Spirit.

Thus though it is thought I am a bit of a hard guy I would like it known I am more of a big soft Teddy Bear. I do like the holidays most years and wish that they would be more about the spirit of treating people good then about the gifts. Small gifts like a tree for someone you love that is sick or participating with caroling or in making people laugh and giving of yourself should be the reason.

PS for a little holiday cheer try setting off all the moving noisy Christmas animals at Wal-Mart and then watch the employee look down that isle and chuckle.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T11:42:00.001-07:00

Update on my health is as follows. I was wearing a cast type boot for 5 weeks to allow my Achilles to heal. I got it off a week ago and thought my heal is sore I have moved with it and felt better. I have also this week begun to try to start spinning classes again. It is a bit painful and beginning to work up in exercise I can already know is going to be slow. Chest pains have almost stopped though occasionally hit me when stress levels get too high. I been monitoring them and keeping them under control.

My wife didn’t like our counselor and went out and get herself a new one, Marilyn. She has visited with her a couple times and liked her and then scheduled me to go with her. I declined as I didn’t want to defend myself with her there and me never meeting this new counselor. I did agree to see Marilyn on my own though, which I did yesterday. After some interesting talks the Marilyn she said I think it would be best that you don’t live together and would want to talk to the wife next week and then again with me and the wife to start a paper of separation agreements. This did not surprise me as I know Greg, my counselor has been working on that but wife didn’t like hearing that. The second opinion is now going to be hitting her.

Then my mom had Knee surgery so she is still healing and needing help. My mom’s mother is also VERY sick and is dying, So mom is sad and emotional as we deal with her healing. AND I have to deal with my grandma dying.

So with work keeping me swamped, my mom healing, and emotional, my grandma dying, my foot hurting and I can’t run, and my marriage ending, I am about at the end of all my ropes. Most people can’t even tell where I am on my emotional strings as I hide them all so well.

ON a good note though since I can’t run right now I volunteered at the local Turkey trot today. Almost 300 runners and walkers went by me. The amount of friends I saw was awesome with some of the stopping to hug me, talk t o me and thank me for helping was awesome to feel. Other people all thanking us for volunteering and greeting me was also nice and this was my first real volunteering at a race as a marshal and I loved it. It was a very rewarding morning from that aspect. I WILL do it again and recommend it for anyone that is interested in running and the such.

I would also like to thank everyone as my friends and support I receive. My each and every one of you have a wonder Thanksgiving day. God Bless you all.

Small yays

2008-11-12T04:22:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday my daughter got to play on the varsity basketball team. She played AWESOME. Almost the whole game. The coach only pulled her at the end fo the game to allow some JV listed players to get in the game since the varsity game was won anyway. The coach pulled her over and said she would be varsity again. The two teams play and practice together and depending on practices and games can be moved up or down to varsity. I like that as it keeps the girls working hard to stay or to get into the varsity game.

Monday they played again and my daughter was on the varsity squad again. She was a bit more off but still played about half the game. Which is good. I am so proud and swell with pride watching her in sports. I went to her band concert last night and thought to myself wow our kids do so much. Seeing girls form the softball team, the basketball team in the band. They all play sports, music, school, etc. I like it that we live in a community where so much activity happens. I think it makes our children well rounded for life.

I went to the doctor yesterday for my foot. He liked that I have been so good on it and not working it. It was looking a lot better. He gave it a shot of cortisone or something and wants me in the boot cast till Monday or Tuesday. I will then on Wednesday start physical therapy on it. He said then Thanksgiving weekend I can start spinning hard again to start working myself back. I will be put on a exercise and strengthening program to work my foot back up slowly. I could begin running again by the New Year. Maybe, December slow and short.

And yes another sleepless night with life issues etc so might as well try and post or something eh?

LIFE Sucks at times

2008-11-05T00:34:00.000-07:00

So now here I lie watching the clock and I can't sleep. I feel like crap as sleep keeps becoming harder and harder to grasp. I am looking over my life and struggling with issues in it. Here is some issues of it.

I married when I was young to a even younger woman. Her name was Connie. We were kind of pushed into marriage as my parents thought it was best. She in the end left me for some man she worked with. They had a couple kids got married and are still today. We were married 4 years and had no kids. So this story ended.

I then married again to my current wife. We dated for 2 years of which we broke up a couple times and I even asked her to marry me and she turned me down. I had issues of acceptance going then as well. Being turned down hurt of course but then to be accepted back to dating and then to eventual marriage caught me. She accepted me and my problems we were married and along came my WONDERFUL daughter. Life was suppose to be good. I had it all. A wife, step son, a new daughter and nothing but up from here.

Our relationship settled in and there were always ups and downs. We never could communicate well so we settled things either by me shutting up and not pressing it anymore or by emails and writing. There was not much for intimacy and it became just a pair of roommates getting by. My wife was content and happy with the status quo and I was not. I started searching for me and for what I wanted in life. Time went on and I stayed in there keeping my kids close and for the most part not rocking the boat.

Then came this year and I burst. I told my wife I was not happy and I was not being the person I wanted and needed to be. We got into counseling and though it seems to be helping to push me along it is not helping my wife. We continue to fight though now she says she gets it and knows what I need to make me happy. I can’t believe it as I know I have talked “written” with her on these issues in the past. I struggle to see forward at times.

I ended up moving to my sister’s house a few weeks ago. I have been back and stayed a few times at my house but each time it seems to cause the same issues. I have found out certain things about myself and I know more what I want but I can’t see what I want or need being filled from my current wife. We tend to be in this co-dependency mode and I watched it last night go through the whole gamut of the co-dependency.

Tonight I lay here in bed with chest pains. I wonder what will I end up with in life? I think I have found and know what I want but the path is so blurred I get lost. So I find myself laying here staring at a ceiling that is not mine, not able to sleep. Life is not good right now.

Stressed

2008-10-26T21:41:00.001-06:00

I have been swamped in personal drama and issues lately. My wife and I are struggling and have issues. For now the only to say is I am currently not living at my home but staying at my sisters.
On top of all this I cannot even run as I finally went to the doctor and he told me I have torn my achillies. I am now wearing a stupid boot to walk in and a sleeping brace to hold my foot at the right angle to allow for healing.  I am getting ore depressed with all this.
With home issues, running issues, foot issues, and life I am now fighting chest pains at times due to the stress of it all.

13,185 Feet of Fun

2008-08-31T20:14:00.006-06:00

I know I been away a lot lately. I have had some other issues going on and taking a lot of my time. I thought I would post though what I did today.

I took off on a day trip to go over the highest mountain pass in the United States. It is called Mosquito Pass and is a 4x4 very rough pass. It took my parents and I in our trucks near 3 hours to cross. It tops out at 13,185 feet above sea level. I thought I would share some of the pictures of the day.

London Mine

A STEEP road

WWR Results

2008-08-07T15:15:00.000-06:00

The Miramonsters (Team I was on) took 19th of 128 teams and was 5th in the Open division of 25 teams. Not too bad for just a bunch of runners out to have fun. We averaged a 8:18 pace at altitude and climbing all those hills.

My friend’s teams took 13th, 29th and 35th overall also. It was a blast to run with such a bunch of great people.

WWR 2008

2008-08-03T21:22:00.000-06:00

This weekend was the Wild West Relay (WWR) 2008. Again this year we had a great time. No one got lost this year but we did have a bit slower time. Here is a few thoughts on my runs.
Well I didn’t die as projected so no Cubed you can’t have my chair. I was runner 6 this year for a change. My first run consisted of 3.8 miles of which 2 miles were uphill on a busy highway. It was 100 degrees at 1:30 when I took off on my run. I still did the run in 31:30 which is great for the heat.

My second run was 6.5 miles with a slight uphill finishing with a over 1 mile downhill. It was at 10:30 at night in the dark. The timing was perfect and I was able to run the whole time with one of my best running friends Cat. She and I have run together weekly for 4 years and she was on another team. We chatted and the time flew by. We got to the last mile and I felt great. I had 2 more runners ahead of me that I wanted to real in and pass and Cat said go. So I turned on the legs and pulled out the last mile of a 6.5 mile run downhill at 11:30 pm in the dark in under 6 minute pace. It was awesome to run that fast.

Our van then shuttled to Walden where we threw out sleeping bags on the group in a field. I was sleeping and suddenly heard someone yell SPRINKLERS. I hoped up and had to run with my sleeping back to not get soaked by the sprinkler system. That kind of ruined the sleep time.

My last run was at 8:30 am. I had to cover 6.7 miles. The leg started with a steep fall and then 5 miles of steady climbing to the end. I was running and had passed 3 other runners and I was also passed by 3 runners. So I was net 0 when the van gave me a shot of gu and some water. I told them see that girl ahead she is mine. They were encouraging but were laughing. I caught her about a ½ mile from the finish. They were a bit surprised but happy.

We finished our race in 27 hours and 54 minutes for 195 miles. Our average pace was 8:19 with all the mountains we climbed. Again I run with some of the best people you anyone could ever know.

Thanks to all my friends that I run with you are the best.

Dying by STUPIDITY wasn't listed?

2008-07-31T10:08:00.002-06:00

Since my last post was on ways guys die I thought I would announce that tomorrow I might die. I for some unknown reason set up everything perfectly for this to happen. I would like to let everyone know that I am sorry for anything I have ever done to hurt them. I never meant to cause anyone pain or injury and have always tried to live my life helping others in some fashion either with support, a listening ear, noticing some small fact, encouraging, coaching or just being there at the right time.

Tomorrows plan for my death. I am running the Wild West Relay for the 3rd year. I have hardly covered any miles for training this year due to surgeries, and foot problems. I am now again a fat out of shape nerd that is going to attempt to run beside a highway with very little median, uphill at 5200 feet and now I see it is suppose to be pushing 100 degrees when I run my 6.5 miles. So if the traffic doesn’t do me in on the highway the heat will.

I will update you all on the Race and how we faired on Monday as a team. Also I would like to say to Eddie have that Beer ready for me when I get to Steamboat I need the liquid after that kind of heat.

Dying

2008-07-30T08:57:00.001-06:00

Hmmm I found this to be a very intriguing article especially since I been thinking about my life and what needs to be changed and worked on for the 2nd half of my life. Although reading this makes me wonder if it all matters? I see a couple of these as possibilities and that scares me a bit.

http://health.msn.com/mens-health/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100164754

Happy 13th Birthday to my Daughter

2008-07-28T07:33:00.000-06:00

I have a huge story coming that will actually be from my daughter about the trip she recently took. I will write up a small clip and then when she has all her writing typed up I will submit her words and journal of her vacation.

For today though I would like to wish her a VERY HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY!!!!! I love this little rug rat even as she moves into her teenage years. :)

Mosquito Pass (I am an Idiot)

2008-07-09T14:38:00.000-06:00

This last weekend went camping with the family up in an area called Fairplay. The first night up there the kids and I were working to start a fire. We put out the wood in the fire circle, sprinkled a little fuel on the wood and lit it. Instant fire. Woohoo. It is at this point the slightly wet wood didn’t stay lit and was just about out.

This is where the mistake happened. I added a bit more fuel to a fire that was not out. The fire leapt up to the can I was holding and caught it on fire. I am now standing in a forest with a burring gas can in my hand. I dropped the can which now spilled out some more fuel causing more fire outside the fire ring. I now have multiple fires in the middle of the forest and I am thinking I am either going to die or go to jail. By the way water does not put out gas fires.

It is then that my son at least kicked the gas can into the fire pit. We then managed the small outside fires getting them to burn out and kill them with a shovel. Now we have a half filled gas can in a fire pit about to explode. At least it was now a smaller fire and I was able to reach in blow out the gas can and remove the now melted container. Fires out everyone lived. I slapped myself for the mistake and the rest of the trip went better.

On Saturday we tried to drive over Mosquito pass only to find it was still closed with WAY too much snow. But we did get to camp and have a good time.

I also on Saturday did a 5 mile run. I ran out on a road 2.5 miles climbing 500 feet to an elevation of 11,000 and back in under 50 minutes. YEP a long hard no oxygen run there is nothing better to make one wish they had lungs.

Cubed's Bike

2008-07-03T16:09:00.003-06:00

I just got to go for a ride on Cubed’s new bike. It is a really nice mountain bike with small tires. It rode really nice and made me think I want that nicer bike myself. I was amazed at how smooth a new bike rides over a bike like I have that is over 20 years old. I took the picture to show you the water bottle he has on it. Also as I rode by a construction site I waved, rung his little bike bell he has on the handle bars and pointed to my pink and green water bottle. All I needed was some skittles to fulfill my dream.

I FOUND THE ANSWER

2008-07-02T07:44:00.001-06:00

HA - you thought I found the answer to life. NOPE but here is the answer to the question what is it. It is a Tooth brush holder. You have to admit makes you wonder.

Well I guess I am coming back a bit in my running. I just finished running 10.5 miles last night at 6pm to turn around with no food and run another 6 miles this morning at 6am. That is 16.5 miles in 13 hours. The gas in the tank was low but I think by completing that I am ready for my WWR Race and able to pull out the 16 miles over 24 hours it will require of me. Now if I could just turn on some speed.

Road 199

2008-06-29T16:26:00.012-06:00

I have been struggling with some issues lately in my life. These issues range into a few facets of my life and I might clear some of it up in this post. Thought I think it will take a lot of time to work though all the issues and I wonder in a sense if it is partially mid-life crisis. One thing I know is I don’t have any desire to buy a new sports car. It is more than just filing these desires and wonders with monetary items. When talking and thinking about all these items though I have found for the sake of comparison that I use different items to describe my thoughts.

I been looking back at the last 15 years or so of my life and in depth the last 4 years keep making me think in depth. I know the last 4 years or so I have been subconsciously starting to look at my life. Now I seem to think I am at some cross roads in my life and that some choices I will make in the near future will affect my life for the next 60 years (Yes I plan to live to be 100).

Some of my thoughts and questions I have are where am I going in life? What have I accomplished? Am I living my life the way I want? Am I going to make changes in my life for the future of my health and happiness? Can I find happiness? What makes me happy? Who cares in the end? Should I be doing things in my life in different ways or with different people?

This weekend I decided to kind of run away and take a look at my life a bit. The idea was to think a lot about the path my life is on and see if I could look ahead on a couple of paths and see if I could see where they lead. Here is a bit of the story and some of my thoughts along the way. I headed out Friday night with my truck packed for the weekend of camping in the mountains. I had no goal, or direction but to head basically west. I would camp, buy food, whatever as I needed on the trip.

I drove Friday night up to an area above Red Feather called Dead Man. As I reached the area and dusk was setting I looked for a place to pull over and put up the tent in the waning light. I had a fire and drank some beer and stared at the stars. They are truly beautiful to stare at when away from the city lights. I had a good night sleep and laid there for once with no hurry to get up. When I did I packed up everything and then went for a run. I ran up Dead Man hill climbing 700 feet in 2.5 miles. In the end I covered 5 miles in 51 minutes. Yep still had to get my run in to keep the mind as sane as I can at least.

I then headed west again in search of whatever I could fine. My motto was hmmm I wonder where that road goes as I turned off and headed on a new trail. I was driving along this one trail when I saw this tail disappear under a bush. As I got closer I saw it was a bird. This was the strangest acting bird I have ever seen. When I got close to the bird he got into the road. He criss-crossed back in forth across the road in front of my truck. As I kept moving forward the bird did also never moving from the road. I had to get out and scare it to the side of the road only for the bird to try to get back in front of my truck. I wonder did this bird have suicide thoughts by jumping in front of a moving truck. I finally got the bird to move to the side and I got by but then found this bird running along the side of my truck. He would bounce his head into bush branches but still keep running along chasing me. If I stopped the bird would again jump in front of my truck. Finally I did get by the bird and left it behind me, and as I looked out my rear view mirror only to find the bird chasing me still down the road.

I later found that this road was a dead end and turned around to head back out. As I did I encountered the same bird again going the other direction. The same thing as before happened just going the other directions. So the questions I have are who is the strange acting suicidal bird in my life? What did this bird and his actions tell me? Will I end up watching in my rear view mirror of life this same thing happen to someone? Will the bird die anyway and all that is happening is just prolonging the inevitable?

I continued along wondering where each road went and trying them. As I found many times that they all lead to a dead end. This hits me as a bit depressing wondering how many times I am going to run down a dead end road before I fine one that goes through to a path I need to be on. I think in my life I have bounced along a bunch of dead ends already especially in the last few years with both jobs ending and with other areas as I looked around in my life.

I was on the road labeled 199 which is now becoming an important part of my thoughts. Let’s see if you can follow all the pieces to this road as you read and associate it to life and what you know from my writing above.

It was a good road. One that seemed well traveled and showed signs of being the right road. It looked like many people had traveled this road ahead of me though I didn’t see anyone on this road at the moment. In fact I have seen more people lately on a different road and one that I might really be on and not this one. In any case I continued on 199 and soon there became a few problems in the road. I got out of the truck looked at the first set of problems and did some assessment. I finally determined that if I maneuvered correctly and aimed everything at the right angle I could fix this problem and continue on the road. I was right and I was able to maneuver going this direction but I knew that if the road dead ended like so many had before I was going to be in trouble. If I got through it going this direction would be fine coming from the other direction I would not get through it.

Well as you see I made it and then the next obstacles in the road hit me. I don’t have pictures of them but I handled them the same way as the first one. I first stopped the truck, got out, looked over the problem, walked down the path and assessed the issue the best I could. Each time, I looked back up the path I had just traveled to this point. I thought of what was behind me and I felt stuck. As each problem went behind me it made the return journey less and less a viable option. At one point the option was posed to me as continue on this path/road in hopes that the journey ends with me getting out or try and return to face the problems behind me again. I continued on with some of the problems causing damage as I drug a tail pipe on rocks and put a dent in my tail gate of my truck.

Suddenly all hope arose and I opened up into a field. I could see a cabin in the distance and I thought wow someone else out here with me. The road looked open again and the problems were all behind me. I was feeling pretty good and I came to a fork in the road. One fork lead up and the other down. I thought to myself I should take the high road as that is what should always happen. So I did and as I drove along the two roads ended up merging again. So did it matter if I took the high road or the low road will I just end up in the same place?

I continued on enjoying the view for a while longer when suddenly my heart sank when I then pulled out of some trees to find what I feared, the dead end. The road seemed to end where this ditch and washed out the road. I was going to have to turn around and go all the way back and figure out problems again. I am beginning to get upset and worried that I won’t ever find the path of happiness for me and get out of this predicament in 1 piece. I did notice though that across the ditch there was a section I could get out IF I could get across the ditch. I cannot see myself trying to go backwards so I rolled up the windows and took the stream at speed. I made it across and climbed up out of the area.

I am still traveling down this road. Where I am going to come out is still in question but I am still moving. The next obstacle I encountered was a bridge. The bridge sign read. “Cross at your own risk weight capacity unknown”. As you can see I put the truck on it as I kept moving forward down this road.

This ended up being the last of the problems and since I am now writing all this it shows I made it through. I ended up coming out into an area I knew and was able to make it home. This road seemed to show me a lot now if I could only make sense of it all. I know I am on some path in my life now. I know some things I want to happen in the future. I am not sure who, how, when, or where.

Will it end in a dead end or will it come out like road 199? What problems will I still encounter? What forks in the road will I take? Will I make the right decisions for me? Will I end up living the life I want and be happy or will I end up stuck in the problems never moving forward? Will I have to travel this road alone or will there be someone with me that will support and help me through it? Anyone else find themselves in this same positon?

If anyone has any answers to any of this or comments I am always anxious to listen and hear different points of view.

What is it?

2008-06-25T07:55:00.002-06:00

The other day in the office I went to this guy’s desk that has a jar of M&M’s for people to have when they NEED A LITTE sugar fix. The jar sits at the end of his desk and you just step in the office and take A FEW. The drawer under the desk was slightly a jar and as I GOT SOME M&M’s out I noticed the Pink object in the drawer. I took Cubed back and when he looked he had the same reaction I had.

Take a look at the picture below and tell me what you think it is? I will post what it is later.

Who is Tired?

2008-06-24T08:49:00.000-06:00

Here is a small synopsis of my life in the last week. I thought I might share just to show you all what NOT to do.

Thursday 19th – Worked all day 7-5 and then worked for a private client 5-8pm

Friday 20th – Worked all day 7-4 and then to a private client 5-10:30pm Ran 4.2 miles at noon.

Saturday 21st – Up at 5 to Denver for Softball games back to work at private client 3pm to 1:30am Sunday morning

Sunday 22nd – Ran 10 miles in morning, Movie and then played 1.5 hours of basketball with only 10 guys.

Monday 23rd – Ran 5 miles at 6am, worked from 7-4:30 then to private client to work from 6pm to 5:30am Tuesday morning

Tuesday 24th – Slept maybe a restless 1 hour and then back to work at 7-4. Back to a private client at 5pm today. I am looking at having 1 hour of sleep in 41 hours of being awake.

The Question is will I get a run in today still?

Yes/No List

2008-06-22T18:35:00.003-06:00

I was in a conversation the other day and was associating words and what they mean. Here is the way I see these words and what they mean. When someone asks you a question you can answer with these words and here is what you are meaning. For example if someone asks you "Would you go camping with me? You can answer absofuckinlutly." OR use a different word listed below. I would recommend printing off this list until you become familer with it. :)

Here is the list for your convience.

Nope = 100% No

Improbable = 10% Yes and 90% No

Unlikely = 20% Yes and 80% No

Questionable = 30% Yes and 70% No

Conceivably = 40% Yes and 60% No

Possibly= 50% Yes and 50% No

Maybe = 60% Yes and 40% No

Sure = 70% Yes and 30% No

Perhaps = 80% Yes and 20% No

Probably = 90% Yes and 10% No

Definitely (Absofuckinglutly) = 100% Yes

Steamboat Springs

2008-06-15T09:09:00.003-06:00

We are in Steamboat Springs for a softball tournament for my daughter. We drove in on Thursday evening with beautiful weather and the Yampa valley is tremendous for scenery. I love this place in the summer.

We began softball play on Friday morning with 2 back to back games. This picture is one I took via a cell phone from the bleachers of my daughter. She batted a 1000 in that game and it was awesome to watch her. In this picture you can see the ball at the top flying out and she got a double on that hit. I am a happy dad. We have a lot of turmoil on this team with parents and the coaches so it is kind of rough sometimes with all the politics involved but truly watching your daughter play like that is one of the best things a dad can view.

On Saturday we had to drive to Craig Colorado for games. This posed a bit of a problem for us as our son also was re taking the ACT tests at a local high school here in Steamboat. So we gave him the car to go take the test and we looked for rides to Craig. We ended up with my daughter riding with one family, my wife riding with another family and I was to ride with yet another family. Since we are out of town everyone only had 1 spot in their cars to get us all to Craig.

Well this worked out great and due to construction on the road here where we are staying I arranged to walk out to a main street to be picked up by my ride on their way by. I watched as my daughter and wife both left in their cars with the rides they caught and my ride was not quite ready yet and so I sat on the side of the road with a bag I packed (I was going to run 4 miles in Craig with another person) and the cooler for the games we were headed to watch. As I was sitting there on the cooler some jeep with Nevada plates stopped backed up to me, rolled down his window and said “Hey, dud you need a ride somewhere?” I replied with “Yea, but my ride is coming along here in a bit, but thanks for the offer it was appreciated.” He said “no problem, take care” and pulled away. My ride showed up right after.
My wife soon after texted me and here is pretty close what transpired.
Wife: Did you get a ride yet?

Me: Yes, they were running a bit late. Some guy in a jeep though stopped and asked if I needed a ride.
Wife: Gees, well you waited and are with the family right?
Me: No, I called them and they were going to be late so I took a ride with Dan (Name made up by the family I am riding with), strange smell in this Jeep also?
Wife: You are kidding right?
Me: No, Dan is pretty cool guy. We should be there soon.

At this point the texting stopped and she called me. While on the phone I hear the people in her car laughing. She said if you’re not joking I am going to kill you to which a guy in the car with her is laughing and says you won’t if Dan kills him first. It became a big joke the whole day of hey where is Dan? You riding with Dan back home? On the other side of that coin my wife was not happy and pretty upset with me. I can’t understand why as families I have only known 6 months through this softball team knew immediately I was joking but she took it serious. So guess my little joke was not funny to her but hey the rest of us had fun.

Cheer for a Cure

2008-06-12T11:51:00.001-06:00

How is it I didn't win with that cheer?

Re-GRAND OPENING

2008-06-09T15:55:00.003-06:00

I have decided that all seems clear now and I am reopening my blog to not need logins. I want to say thanks to everyone for your understanding while I worled through that time.

Buggy

Happy Birthday Cubed

2008-06-09T15:51:00.002-06:00

Well for Cubed’s birthday some people picked him up a gift that they knew he would like. Cubed got his new Chia Pet today that is one of Homer Simpson. Cubed is now going to shave his head and plant the Homer Chia Pet and then the race is on to see which will grow their hair first. Please feel free to ask him on his site to post updated pictures on the competition. You might to look closely though as they look a lot alike.

This Raised $205 to fight Cancer!

2008-06-05T10:59:00.003-06:00

Ever since he was a small child, our own Buggy B has had a dream; Buggy has always wanted to be able to enter the Mr. Relay Contest on behalf of our company, dressed as a cheerleader.

But alas, the years come and they go, and it hasn’t happened yet.

That’s why the Relay Team is asking you, (yes, you,) for your support. Please go online today, www.relayforlife.com, and pledge now. Only you can send Buggy to the Big Leagues, dressed as a cheerleader.

Don’t let another day go by without letting Buggy know you care, by pledging, $5, $10, or whatever you can spare.

Think of the children. Think of Buggy.

We need to raise $100 by Wednesday night in order to make this dream a reality- again, visit www.relayforlife.com, selected Team Our Company, follow the instructions until you find Buggy's name and pledge. Pledge now.

Thank you for your support.

What a Weekend

2008-06-01T22:28:00.001-06:00

About a week ago a friend of mine called up and asked if my daughter would like to play in a few basketball tournaments over the summer. I of course said yeah and signed her up. Yep I love basketball. If you remember I played with the girls at practice last Wednesday and was a bit sore the next day. Well this weekend we had our first tournament in Colorado Springs.

On Saturday morning we got up at 5am and were on the road at 5:30 am for the 2 hours drive. We got to the springs by 7:30 where we were able to practice till 9am. We did and then found out that we were going to be missing a bunch of girls. We were supposed to have 18 girls to fill 2 teams. We had 10 show up. So that meant the teams had 5 each and they would have to play the whole game. Since we were in the tournament for free and was there because the tournament director was out coach he went and got the other teams coaches to allow us to merge all our girls and play all the games as 1 team. What this meant is we played 6 games instead of 3 for Saturday.

We were creamed in every game by near 50 point spreads. The teams that came were great teams and our girls having been a mix of bad news bears setup just could not compete at that level. We held on though and ended the day with some very tired girls and got to the hotel around 10:30pm.

This morning I got up early and went out for a run. It sucked and I hurt throughout the hour run I was going to do. Yes I decided on an hour run instead of a mileage. I ended up finding this really great trail and running along it. This picture is from that run. Though it hurt it was great being out at sun rise seeing the area.

We went up and started our games at 8am this morning again as a mixed single team. The tournament director that is the official coach came to these games and coached. HE was fun to watch how he handled the girls and you could tell he talked to them at their level yet he didn’t talk down to them in basketball terms and treated them as adults. It was fun to watch and he was so motivational to the girls that we actually led a game for 2 minutes until losing it. Even when things were bad he had something positive to say. Like when he heard they lost 56 to 11 he cringed and then said well look at it this way you all made 11 points double digits and then smiled at them.

We lost both games which meant that now the 2 teams we had in the tournament had to play each other for 7th and 8th place. So we split the girls into 2 teams of 5 and let them play. Again I think we wore out the girls playing so much but they all earned a lot and will be better players in time. It is still court game time that counts for learning.

Not the Brightest

2008-05-28T22:54:00.001-06:00

I hurt a bit the night after the race but overall pretty good. Tuesday morning again feeling okay I decided to try and go to spinning class at noon at the club. I showed up a bit late and the class was full. This is the first time I have hit a full class and was not all that happy about it. But, that is fine so I left and went home instead. Where I put on my running cloths and went out for a run. I did my normal 4.2 mile loop. My thighs were burning and I had a bit of a side stitch. I am guessing that not running for a while and then the race on Monday wore me down some, along with my having to keep healing from surgeries.

I did though pull off a 8:30 pace. Today I took the day off except for some practice of basketball with my daughter. It hurt cutting and running up and down the court. I was thinking of doing some basketball on Thursday morning but now I don’t think so. Give myself another few days for that. This pain thing stinks and it is not an easy thing for me to do since I am not having the pain from running anymore.

Bolder Boulder 2008

2008-05-26T21:38:00.000-06:00

Sunday I had a very relaxing day. Some church in the morning followed by a Grad party for the major parts of the day. Sunday night I was a bit excited and a bit nervous to run on Monday morning but I got through the night and even woke a bit early this morning.

I got up and left at 5:30 am to head to Boulder. I wanted to be there early and not rushed so as to enjoy the run. Angel and I were in the same wave so I met her and we talked a bit before the race as she was early also. The start buzzer went off and we started on our run. Angel throughout the race kept asking me how I was doing. I always answered I was feeling great.

At mile 3 I was feeling really good and wanted to take off a bit faster. There was a goal though and that was to get my Colder Boulder 58 minute invite so I kept myself held back and on pace. Below is my splits and time. I ran the whole thing with NO pain at all. Well a bit of tightness in my stomach where I am healing but the original pain I was fighting, The hernia, is GONE. YAY. The next couple weeks as I continue to monitor and heal I know all is going to be good. I am excited to begin picking it up again.

mile 1: 0:08:48.45
mile 2: 0:09:23.85
mile 3: 0:09:50.15
mile 4: 0:09:28.87
mile 5: 0:09:21.84
mile 6: 0:09:09.59
net time:0:57:47.91
pace: 9:19 (based on net time)

Colder Boulder I am coming to win that Crocheted Snowman!!!

Bolder Boulder here I come :)

2008-05-24T08:53:00.000-06:00

I just saw a commercial for New Balance Shoes. It started off with this guy sitting on a bench and it says “You broke up with running the other day. Now you see running everywhere and it looks really good.” I was thinking I almost know that feeling. Yesterday’s run FELT really good to be out in the sun, moving along a sidewalk, feeling the body move, watching and observing the outdoors. One difference I don’t wear New Balance shoes but I did put on a brand new pair of running shoes to start my hopeful return.

Update since the run last yesterday. Unlike Tuesday night when I woke in pain and was hurting after my 1 mile run that day. I was a bit tender last night but I slept well and am feeling great today so far. Life and running is starting to look really good again. I can’t wait now to run the Bolder Boulder.

Racking up the miles with Support

2008-05-23T13:47:00.001-06:00

Today I was talking to Cubed about my instructing and then I am planning a run today at lunch. As we were talking he brought up just make sure I support everything correctly. This is where if you have seen that commercial where the guy yells I am wearing your underwear Michael comes into play. Cubed offered me his athletic supporter for me to wear while running.

I took and tried to put on Cubed’s athletic supporter but it was too small for me so I had to rely on my normal attire for support. I did go out and got in a 3.3 mile run. I was jogging along looking at the side walk, staring around at sites and it hit me how much I really do like being outside running. I didn’t feel any pain and all feels really good now to see how I feel through tonight and tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed. I will not run now till the Bolder Boulder on Monday.

I just logged my run and for this month I have now logged in a WHOPPING 4.3 miles.

I am an Instructor

2008-05-22T21:08:00.002-06:00

Exciting Day here in Colorado with the tornados and wild weather. We live along the front range and tornados DO NOT happen here as the mountains protect us. BUT today we had a fluke in our weather system. The weather normally travels west to east but today the weather turned and pushed from the south up along the mountains. A tornado hit in the town to the east of us.

Softball practice for my daughter was canceled due to the tornados today. I got home from work and today I been a bit sore. I am planning on running a couple miles tomorrow but now with no softball practice I am thinking hmmm maybe I should run tonight to use up some of the night. I was looking and planning and my daughter said “Dad can you go play catch with me?” I said you want to go do some hitting. She said YES! Once again I am happy she loves the sport.

So she and I load the buggy with the bag of balls and her softball bag and go to the local school and field. I am soft tossing her balls and she is cranking on them. Some friends pull up and ask if their daughter can join us. I say sure bring her over. So now I have a couple girls and we are doing hitting and then some infield practice. My daughter says “Dad do you need to go so you make it to spinning class?” She knew I was thinking about going to that tonight. I said “No I would rather play ball with you and your friend.” My daughter smiled and she knew I was there for her. That makes a dad feel good.

We practice for a bit and it starts to rain again. We rush home getting soaked in the buggy. I am home early enough to go to spinning class and my son decides to join me. I ask the wife if she wants to go to which she replies no, the normal answer from her. So my son and I go.

We get there and again due to the tornados the instructor didn’t make it in. A couple of people leave and I tell one of the personal trainers there I will instruct the class. I have only been to classes for 6 weeks but I can lead. He said awesome. My son ran out and got a CD out of my truck that had a mix of songs on it. I have now instructed my FIRST Spinning class now. I did some sprints, a few hills, some jumps and just went where the music moved me. I taught a total of 5 people of which one was a personal trainer. After the class he said I did great and the other people all said I should become an instructor as they said they felt a great workout. I think Angel would be proud of me!

This is the first time my son has done a spinning class. We got home and he said wow my legs were burning and I was sweating. I said good I must have done it right. I then asked him so who is your favorite spinning instructor to which he looked at me and said “you are and your dumb.” It is then the wife looked at me and said “WHAT? Are you serious you taught the class and over did it now didn’t you?” I just grinned at her and my son was shaking his head. My son then later said do you like getting her all upset like that. I again grinned.

Dumb Dumb

2008-05-21T09:22:00.001-06:00

I was excited about yesterdays exercising and movement. Then at 3am this morning I woke in pain. My body wanted to say hey Dumbass but realized couldn’t because that is Gators name. So my body yelled out HEY DUMB what do you think you did yesterday. I know only a few of you will get those references but I hope you find it a bit funny.

So based off of this and Ridiculous chicks post everybody repeat after me. I am Dumb! I am Dumb! Wait I am now Smart now! Nope I am I think I am Dumb again.

Well in the end I ended up getting out of bed and getting some ice and that really helped and I was able to then go to sleep again around 5 and then got up at 6:30 very tired and sluggish from the pain keeping me awake earlier. I am now going to take today off, use some Ibuprofen and see how Thursday goes. I might have to even wait till Friday before I try my first outside test run.

Light in the Tunnel

2008-05-20T13:24:00.001-06:00

If you have kids and Aflac is offered to you I recommend you purchase this insurance. I did over a year ago and to date I am about even on what I spend for the coverage and what I have gotten back. Between small accidents my kids get into it keeps me even. OK so you might say I spent that money and I have recouped back the same and that is true. Now add this piece of the puzzle.

As you all know I broke my tooth on my birthday. I had to get a root canal and a crown. In the end to get my tooth fixed the final cost was around $2100. My dental insurance picked up a bunch and my total cost I ended up putting out ended up being $830. Well I turned in all my receipts and Aflac is not sending me a check for $320. This means that between insurance and Aflac I will only have to cover about $500 of my tooth problem. That is much better than nothing for sure. Also that $320 now puts me up a year of fees. AND I still have my MRI and all those bills to turn in to Aflac for my other surgeries etc.

OK today at lunch I decided to sneak over to the fitness club. I did 45 minutes of spinning class and ran it about 80% of what I would have put into it. I had a good sweat and if I was begun to hurt I cut back a bit. When I was done with the spinning class I went and got on a tread mill and slowly brought myself up to a good running pace. I started at 10 minute pace and moved into a 7:30 pace and then backed down. I finished a mile in 8:56 and there was NO pain. A bit of tightness in my stomach but again NO PAIN! There is light at the end of this pain tunnel.

Anniversary Card

2008-05-19T13:35:00.002-06:00

Okay I know a couple of people here at my work have read this but I thought it so inspiring and thoughtful I wanted to capture it in my blog. This is an example of the kind of Owner and leadership I work for. I am at my 2 year anniversary for working at this company. The owner writes you a card on your anniversary and gives you a gift card for a local restaurant. I just got my card today and this is what it was signed with.

"Buggy, what a wonderful man you are! Thanks so much for bringing joy and calmness to every encounter that you are part of. I hear great thinks about you. Your willingness to grow and learn helps set an example for others. Thank you!" Isn't that an awesome card? The owner is a special woman and an inspiring leader.

So Cubed is this like a 180 from our past job at the other company?

Softball Cheerleader

2008-05-18T12:42:00.001-06:00

Finally, my daughter’s softball team won a game after a dry streak of losing. They build some confidence today back that they can win if they play the game. I as a parent do not mind losing at all as long as they are giving to the game and PLAYING not just floating along. They played better today.

I thought I was going to get into trouble though. Our team has had some coaching and parent issues going on. There was a huge meeting a short while ago telling us parents that we were NOT to coach our kids from the stands. Some of the parents have been doing that along with me some. But for the most part I have been quiet about it and trying to keep my daughter in the sport. As I told the parents had we kept my daughter on the team she was on she would not be playing next year and burned out. NOW she is like last night begging to go hit more balls and sad when it is not time to play. I think I am winning keeping her in the sport first.

Well today I must have been feeling better. And yes I am a whole lot less pain then yesterday etc. The coaches this morning asked if I wanted to play, meaning help with warm ups. I said yes please just tell me what you want me to do. So I did some soft toss and then I asked if I could do a little infield work with the girls before the game started. The coach said yes you can. So I did a bit. Then I was seeing how the umpire was calling signs and was giving the coaches and kids some advice on how to play the ump. Meaning she was calling outside pitches as strikes. So step up closer to the plate so the girls could see the pitch better and what do you know they started hitting.

My wife kept calling me back to my seat saying “you can’t be doing that remember the meeting?” I replied yep I do, but I can’t keep watching the same thing happen over and over with no corrections to help the girls learn. I at this point do not think anything bad came of it and we were playing better.

I was even moving around though the parents more and was chatting and keeping them cheering. One of the parents that were in trouble from sideline coaching made a comment to me to be careful I will piss off the coach and get in trouble like them. I replied yeah I know but see I let you do it in the beginning and now that you’re in trouble I am taking over. I learned from your mistakes AND by the time the coaches get bad at me now the season will be over. Thus I end when it is done anyway and smiled.

One of the grandmas there looked up at me and said I am doubtful of that happening. I smiled and the other parent asked her why is that? The grandma said because he, meaning me, has a good line and with the women coaches he will be fine helping them from the side. Then she proceeded to say you got me smiling when you I saw you in the parking lot the day before and you, Buggy said, “What is a hot looking woman like you doing standing alone in the parking lot?” I think this 86 year old grandma sees through me. I told that parent I am not sideline coaching I am cheerleading with the right words to tell the girls where to move. Such as I would yell “Great play and try Checkers, my daughter’s nickname, next time move a little closer to the base and you will have that tag perfect.”

I am not running today though I am excited. I jogged out of the ball park to the car to get some stuff today and I could feel the incisions in my stomach. I could feel some tightness and something weird in my lower stomach where the mesh is, BUT the good thing is that a month ago when I jogged through that same park I didn’t make it half the distance to the parking lot and I was in pain. I am hopeful I am on the way. Woohoo.

Softball

2008-05-17T21:20:00.001-06:00

Okay made it a day without running Ney. Lol. This is of course due to a couple of factors. That I will explain for you.

Today was a jam packed day I got up and started working on an old computer I had in my garage. The reason is there is this gal I know that has an older yet pc running Windows 95. With that the machine only has a CD ROM and thus she can’t do any backups of her data and it won’t print and no USB’s and the software just plain stinks. She is also newly divorced and losing her job with 2 kids. So I am being a nice guy rebuild an old machine for her to help her and even more so help out the kids as they need it for school projects etc.

Then headed out around 9:30am for softball games for my daughter. Her team is struggling right now so made for a long day with losses. The first game they lost 13-1 with my daughter being the only girl to cross home. The second game ended 8-1. The third game ended 8 -0. The last game ended at 4:30pm.

We then had a graduation party to attend. We ended up leaving that party with our friends at 7:30. At this point I have still not been home. As soon as I got home my daughter said “Dad, you don’t have to if you don’t want, but can we go hit some more balls?” How do I say no to that so we went to the local school and hit another 150 balls for hitting practice.

Games again start at 8am tomorrow morning so it is basically now a go shower and head to bed mode.

As for me today has been a bad day for pain. I have had this stomach and side pain all day. Just picking up soft balls tonight was hurting to bend down. SO No running for today.

Doctor 2

2008-05-16T17:06:00.001-06:00

I have been to see Doctor 2. He checked out everything again and said everything was looking good. I asked him about running the Bolder Boulder and he thought about it a bit and then said it should be fine. He recommended a short run before then to see how things felt and to ice down afterwards yet. He recommended I be careful also to not go out running to fast since I have not for a while I might have a tendency to go to fast. I said yeah right not this guy.

I was in the office attending a leadership class today. We were on a 10 minute break and it was over. I suddenly remembered something I was supposed to do and took off at a jog through the office. The whole time I was jogging I NEVER felt any stomach pain. That is awesome and I am excited.

I want to go out for a small run now and see how things feel BUT I am not. I am going to make myself wait through the weekend at least. No promises but I am aiming for maybe Wednesday trying a bit of spinning with little resistance and then maybe Thursday a 2 miler and see how things go.

So everyone I am trying my best to hold off and continue to keep healing first. But with the last couple small trots with no pain I have to say I am starting to get a bit of excitement. Enough so that I have now pulled out my brand new Asics shoes I had up on the shelf from my birthday a couple months ago. I even laced them up and put them on tonight giving them a bit of a walk around the house in preparation for wearing them VERY SOON.

Last night I picked up my Bolder Boulder race packet. My number and racing chip is now sitting on the bench in the garage with my new shoes all ready for me. Does this mean I am thinking of coming out of retirement?

Surgeon Cleared

2008-05-15T14:59:00.000-06:00

According to my meeting with surgeon here is what I was told. I had an indirect hernia of the inguinal canal. The second hernia was in the femoral canal. There is such a thing as a direct hernia of the inguinal canal also. The patch of mesh he put in me covers all these areas. On my right side I cannot have a hernia again. The mesh is about 9cm by 14 cm in size.

He checked me out and didn’t feel any more hernia. He said he clipped the patch in place to hold it for the 1st couple days so it doesn’t move. Now a week later if he went in he would have to remove tissue and all to get it out. My tissues are already embracing the mesh and it will incorporate into just being a part of my body. He told me that in 5-6 weeks I will probably be walking along and feel like something in me broke. Don’t worry about it as that is the tissues that are healing now are tight and will release all at once in that area. It is just the scar tissues and such relieving being tight and all is fine.

We then discussed that for the next 3 months it is not unlikely I will still feel occasional shots of pain. He said that other then the above I am free as far as he is concerned to start resuming my workouts as I feel okay. I asked about the Bolder Boulder and he said if I feel okay to run it then it is fine and won’t cause any issues with what he has done. I still have to get the okay from Doctor 2 though which is tomorrow afternoon.

Some Fun and Thoughtful Thoughts

2008-05-15T07:52:00.001-06:00

Hmm my daughter is growing up. The other day she came up to me and said Dad here is another reason women are tougher than men. We cut ourselves all the time while shaving our legs. I agreed with her and as she walked off with her hair in a towel I chuckled thinking how cute she is with her thoughts. I also had to think DANG when did she start shaving her legs?

Last night I ended up in resting mode pretty good. I watched the Celtics beat Labron and the Cavaliers to take a 3-2 lead in the playoffs. This then led into the Lakers and Jazz game which the Lakers now have a 3-2 lead. The Lakers game though since it is on the West coast starts later and thus makes for a late game to watch and it was a close game the whole time. The problem is at one point I got really sleepy and snoozed off in my recliner. When I woke my son looked at me and laughed. He chuckled out that he and I was having a conversation and my words went to blob blobity blob blah blaaa, and I was sleeping. I guess I was tired if I was talking and then was asleep.

I was sitting here at my desk which is at the bottom of some stairs where people go to a top level to work. Cubed used to sit up there until he was one of the people I moved on Monday down to the same floor I am on. He just came in and started walking up the stairs. I hollered HEY and he stopped and came back down. Sheesh, I have to remind him where he sits now, good thing he has me for a friend to watch out.

Today I have my first follow-up for my hernia surgery. I am not sure how he checks on things as it is all inside and unless he left the camera in there and it works via Bluetooth when I am in his office I imagine all he will do is talk to me and see how I am feeling. I will have to tell him I am still having the pain I was having before the surgery in some ways but also last night I did trot diagonal across a larger street and I didn’t have the immediate pain I had had with jogging before. I am hopeful the other pain is still related to some nerves upset and the other one I didn’t get has been helped. Keep your fingers crossed. 11 days till the 10K race I am signed up for.

Updates

2008-05-13T21:26:00.001-06:00

Well today I think I figured out that I over did it yesterday. I went to work and we had to move people around some. Nine people to be exact. They all did a great job moving their stuff and I didn’t have to but then some people use key board trays and those needed moved along with computer holders for the desktop machine users. I think I counted I was under either unscrewing or screwing those in place for the users 9 times. Then I went home and worked. Last night was a concert for my son at the High School and I went and made it about half way and was in enough pain I left and came home to rest.

Now lead into today. I was wiped at work this morning. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. I finally went home at noon and laid down for a while. When I went back to work I felt better. After work tonight I been sitting and relaxing all night. I felt really good for a while tonight and ummm started thinking about spinning and running again. Then I got up for dinner (Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich) the pain hit and I remembered why I was laying down again.

I have also got my appointments for 1st follow-up made. I see one doctor on Thursday at 11:15 and the other doctor at 3pm on Friday.

Just talked to my sister and she is doing well. She did get another small infection that she is now fighting. Should not be too bad though and she is still home and healing also.

Too MUCH Time on my HANDS

2008-05-11T19:28:00.001-06:00

I hate having this kind of down time while healing. I have too much time to think about life. At least the days before I was hurting and wasn’t thinking, today was a bit different.

I thought I would share some of my thoughts I have had lately. Have you ever watched people around you and wondered how they got there and why they are there. Today the kids, wife and I decide to go t the park for a mother’s day picnic. We ate there and then walked over to the play ground area. OKAY this was not a very bright idea as I ended up hurting and needing to come home a bit sooner then I wanted but I did observe some things.

I watched other families there and wondered some more. How did the people meet? Are they happy? Why do they live here? Why are they at the park? What about other people doing the same thing in another city in America? How about Europe or the Middle East? I think that the majority of people in my little park and around the world all want the same thing I do. To be happy and to live life with people they love around them. We all, humanity, strive in the end to find those people that get us, loves us, and to be surrounded by those people in a safe and secure environment to live happily.

I watched the movie Good Luck Chuck which also played on these thoughts. Chuck in the movie was supposedly cursed to never find love. Women that were with him would then fall in love with the next man they dated and find their true love. Chuck was also looking for that love of his life while each person used him to find theirs.

To add to this I been thinking about the Vasectomy I got. Did I do the right thing? I think I did as I think about raising a kid for the next 20 years again and the responsibility of that. I don’t want to start over but there is a small piece of me thinks that a part of me is gone. It is hard to explain other then something that makes me, me is now gone and the ability to create me again is gone. Does that make sense? Probably not but since it is my blog I get to write what I think anyway.

I am the kind of person that normally has a ton of things going all the time. It keeps my mind occupied and busy with the tasks at hand and thus not a lot of time to think about life. If I think about life instead of the tasks at hand what will be the outcome? Would I make different decisions? Some might argue this is bad and others might argue this is good. I would like to know your thoughts.

Happy Mothers Day

2008-05-11T09:28:00.000-06:00

This surgery seems to have knocked me down a bit more then I had expected. I was fully thinking that Friday I would have to make myself stay sitting to heal and that Saturday I would take it easy but go watch my daughter play softball and Sunday be pretty much sore but back to normal. Well I was wrong BUT even being wrong I think all is going very well. So here is the next update.

Friday I posted that I was down most of the day. Still just lying on the couch and watching movies with Vicadin and ice packs. Saturday decided to not go to softball fields and stayed home. I was able to get some work done but then when I was done I was ready to lie down again. I did decide to go off the Vicadin though so I took my last pain killer at noon. I made it till bed time and then took 800mg of Ibuprofen which I think is a much better way to manage pain and start getting off the big pain killers. I have not had any now since last night and I am not in any real pain now so going to go without if I can.

Last night I slept for almost 2 hours on the couch around the 8pm hour. I finally made myself wake up so that I might be able to sleep later when I went to bed and though darn it I will be up all night again. WRONG. I went to bed around 11 and almost immediately fell asleep. I woke to turn over around 4am and then was out again until after 8am which I was again trying to make myself wake up. I do not sleep this much and it is kind of freaking me out. I don’t sleep this much normally and when I do like I have been the last 4 days I start to feel lazy. I think today will be a bit harder to keep me downMy wife told me to shut up this morning and catch up on sleep since I am normally way behind. I can’t disagree but it does feel weird to be so tired.

I have done some more reading now on the hernia and the Vasectomy. Both have similar requirements for recovery. NO exercise or strenuous activities for a fortnight. Since when do they still use the word fortnight. I went and looked it up. A fortnight is 14 days. WOOHOO my next planned major exercise is a 10k run that is 18 days after the surgeries. I should be good as long as I can do it without pain. :)

I just talked to my sister and she is telling me she went to the movies yesterday. I was like CRAP am I a baby with my surgery. She said remember she is 2 days ahead of me in recovery. She had her surgery on Tuesday. She also added that she doesn’t have to go to work and can rest when she wants all the time where as it is more important I rest a lot right now these few days because I will be going back to normal working life and need to be back to normal so much faster. She is a sweetie.

I would also like to wish all the moms out there Happy Mother’s Day.

I am ALIVE

2008-05-09T12:42:00.000-06:00

I knew I would be but thought it was a good title.

I slept well the night before the surgery. That is good and gave me a good starting point. I showered and as I said in my previous post I was a bit nervous. Some of the thoughts in my head were what happens if there is a problem? Did I tell everyone around me something that I thought was special about them? Did I really want to go through with the second procedure of being fixed and not having the ability to have kids from this point on? Though I had the questions I knew all was going to be fine and away we went with my wife driving me to the hospital.

Once there I checked in and they had me put on the funky backward facing dress. I had to write a YES on my side was the surgery was going to be. I thought that was funny because I didn’t really have a clue except for what the doctors had told me. I thought doesn’t the doctors know what they are suppose to be doing on me? Were they going to forget and go off my YES? In any case there I now sat with my wife, my mom, and my dad all of them watching me being prepped with the IV and doing paper work. I said my goodbyes to them and the nurse rolled me away.

They rolled me into the surgery room where the two doctors were standing there like a receiving line waiting for me. The nurse said okay move over to that bed, I lifted myself up slid into the other bed and the next thing I remember is some nurse asking me how I felt to which I said I HURT. I do not even remember lying down on the surgery table and wonder did I fall over backwards?

They let me wake up for a bit and I was holding my stomach thinking how bad this hurt when another nurse stepped in with my cloths and she started putting my underwear and pants on. As soon as she had me dressed I was sat in a recliner and moved to another room where at this point my wife and mom came into see me. My wife said I looked like I was about to cry and was green in color. They then shuttled me out to the car and hauled me home. It is weird having all this done to you while you really don’t know what is happening. Talk about trust issues that for that 4 hours I had really no clue who or what was around me and that each and every person that was, had, for the most part my best interest in mind. Just think how easy it would be to shove me aside and I would not have ever know any thing again.

I laid at home all day yesterday on pain meds hurting. I am laying around for the most part now for the next few days while my stomach and all heals. I have now learned after the surgery that there was the original hernia they were going in to fix and there was a second hidden hernia under my pelvic bone.

The doctor even took pictures of my hernia, the inguinal canal; the pelvic bone is in the picture, and the mesh patch they put in me to fix this. The pictures are quite amazing. Also there is this piece of fatty stuff in one of the pictures that apparently the doctor took out of me. With this picture I can now prove

Today is the Day

2008-05-08T06:20:00.001-06:00

I am waiting to leave to head to the hospital for surgery. THIS SUCKS and Iam so not wanting to go. But I had pain last night so I know it is right. :( I am not a happy camper right now.

Sister back in Surgery

2008-05-06T22:04:00.000-06:00

If you all remember my sister was in the hospital for over a month at the beginning of this year. She had surgery to rebuild her pelvic floor the day after Christmas. It was a rough time getting her through that. Well today she had surgery for a hole in her bladder, something to do with fixing her colon next to the bladder and a huge hernia from the last surgery and her stomach.

I went down to see her after work tonight and she was really drugged up and I could tell struggling again. I went into her room and she was out asleep caused by the drugs. I sat for a while just watching her and she finally looked at me recognized me and then raised and dropped her hand near me. I put out my hand and held her hand for a while. She lay there holding my hand mostly out and I just watched her for a while. She finally woke in pain and they gave her some more drugs and she was out again. She is not expected to get out till Friday.

As I was watching her I started thinking about my own surgery on Thursday. I should be in for my surgery and be home in a few hours. I have begun to start thinking about it more though and seeing my sister with her complications started making me think more. I am not too worried about my surgery but there are still some thoughts in my mind.

No Sleep Weekend

2008-05-04T21:55:00.002-06:00

What a weekend. Friday night was fairly uneventful. I enjoyed wine night with some friends. Then got home to my daughter off with a friend. So the Wife, Son and I went to dinner. While at dinner a subject of sexual nature came up. I made a small comment that my son picked up and commented back. The wife was asking what was going on but we both just shut up. Later in the evening when the wife was not around I asked my son his thoughts. She shared them and I said yep it was true and then we laughed. In a way it is fun to know we can have guy talk as he is growing up.

The rest of the weekend I need to put into times as it all runs together as you will see.

7am Saturday I drove to my parents house where I loaded my truck with plywood material to haul to Cheyenne
9am drove to Cheyenne to my sister’s house. I worked all day framing on an addition on her house. 4pm drove back home
5:05pm showered in 5 minutes and went to see and get pictures of my son and his Prom date.
6:30 Wife and I had drinks with my son’s date’s parents.
8pm met other friends for dinner.
9:15pm get home to change cloths again.
10pm drive to High School to participate for After Prom Party
11pm taught high school kids how to play craps all night
3am Sunday started finding leftover food at the party.
3:30am got to bed
7am woke up and crawled out of bed
7:30 drove downtown to volunteer at a friend’s aide station and to cheer on friends running a race.
10am left and drove back to Cheyenne to frame more. We completed the whole second story of the addition.
3pm working on prepping for the rafters on the second story and a board I was standing on that was nailed to some studds kicked out from my feet. Good thing I was holding on as I could have fallen mayby 15 feet hitting walls etc on the way to concrete. I was hollering for help, people were scurrying but I hands were going to giveout before they could help. Then calmness sunk in and I straddled a stud in the wall and slid down to the lower wall like a fireman saving myself. That gets your heart pumping by the way.
6:45pm Drove back home
8:30pm took a shower
10 wrote this and posted.
10:15 Went to bed to try and get enough sleep to go to spinning class tomorrow morning.

I need more than 4 hours sleep and do that kind of work. AND not anytime to get in any abs work outs. :)

What I am Reading

2008-05-02T10:02:00.003-06:00

OK I am not reading that book but I am reading that blog. Thought I would be silly. :)

I had a nap last night

2008-05-02T09:54:00.000-06:00

See Bunny and Early I seem to have plenty of stuff to keep writing about. The funny part is as boring as it all seems to me I am amazed, astounded and surprised at all of your support and caring. It means a lot to me.

Gator I do count those as abs workouts. I keep them in a different private log.

Ney to be honest that kind of workout seems to take the pain away. I am thinking it changes the area of the hernia. I been working to keep up that exercise as much as possible.

I went to see the show Annie last night. Not as bad as I expected. While at the show a guy that was doing some server upgrade work at work texted and called me. Talked to him during intermission and then got a text to stop in when I could. I came into work around 10:30pm. I had 2 separate friends helping also via remotely to get our server fixed. At 1:30 I went home slept till 5 got up went to spinning class and back to work. We now have our server back up and running fully.

The upside to last night was as I was leaving and crossing the street from the show I looked on the ground and found a $20 bill. So no sleep but I made a $20.

Positive Lessons

2008-05-01T07:11:00.003-06:00

I have learned a few things through this cut back in running. For history I started running for my health. One day I was walking into work up a slight incline from the parking lot and was out of breath. I looked at my family history of heart attacks, obesity, and men dying early in life and didn’t want that to happen to me. I decided then that I was going to live a long time and enjoy life and exercise started creeping into my life.

Weight loss was a byproduct of the running and my attempting to become healthy. After losing 60 pound the thought of gaining it back became important and I began watching my weight more and striving to keep the weight off. Well not running now for over a month I have been actually maintaining a lower weight then I was when I was running. What is up with that? I think the spinning and other methods of keeping healthy is covering for me.

The next step for me through this is to get myself fixed up and then decide to again run for the fun. Bring back a mix of running, spinning/biking and basketball. Do it all for a healthy lifestyle, enjoy my friends in all those arenas’.

For the fun of it below is my work out log for the month of April. See I have still been keeping busy.

Hernia Scheduled.

2008-04-30T21:22:00.000-06:00

Well been to see the surgeon. He again had me drop my trousers and this time the wife was there with me. As I lay there on the table some guy feeling me and having me cough I can see my wife sitting there watching. Though it didn’t bother me it was weird to have her watching. He did confirm I do have a hernia running down into my scrotum and it is probably pushing against the nerves the run there causing my pains.

He looked at scheduling me as early as Friday but the other doctor was not available. So now I am scheduled for 7:30am surgery on May 8th. They will go in and patch the hernia from the inside. Then when he is done with that surgery the other doctor will do the vasectomy while I am out. I will be getting it all done at the same time. Then the rest of the day Thursday and Friday I will be sitting around healing. Come online and chat with me and keep me sitting it is going to be a tough day.

Part of the discussion was will I be able to run the Bolder Boulder. He never gave me an answer either way but I took it as probably. He said don’t get myself into anything I can’t get out of. He also said he has had a patient take a month to heal and he had a 17 year old patient heal and back playing tackle football in 4 days. So it will depend on my tolerance. At this point it will be just over 2 weeks after the surgery to the Bolder Boulder so as I told my wife, as she frowned at me, that I was going to pay for and register and I could always not run it.

I told my wife I wanted to because a bunch of my friends are running it and I really would like to be with them. She said well if you can’t run it you can still go and hang with and support them. And I will hopefully be able to run with them and if not then I will be there to support them.

Buggy Thoughts

2008-04-29T08:33:00.001-06:00

Bunny you saw U2 at red Rocks? That was in 1983. Wow just typing that date seems old. I was a junior in High School so here is my thought I know I am older then you so unless they came another time you must have went with your parents? OR were you conceived at that concert? Lol. I need more details please. I was also glad to hear you are just on a blogging break. Everyone needs a break now and then. Well EXCEPT for me. :)

I get to go get my final crown put on my tooth that I broke at my birthday dinner a month ago. YAY one medical item finished with only the bill to pay. :(

Last night I was riding in the back of my buggy over to my sisters. My son is learning to drive the stick shift, wife was in passenger seat. It was the first time I have ridden in the back of this car and with him yanking the gas and clutch was an interesting ride. We were at a stop light and I heard my name called. I looked back to see a guy I know and have run with many times. He asked if I had been running to which I replied nope not in over a month. He said he had not run now in over 2 months himself. He was recovering from a stress fracture on the top of his foot. He would have to start running now in 10 minute increments. This gave me two points of insight.

1) Negative side - DAMN, see how fast we lose the ability to run and now I know I am down to like barely getting through 2 miles. I get a bit upset and don’t want to go through the PAIN to build up to running distances again. It took months to build up the last time.
2) Positive side - If this surgery for hernia and time off to fix my other issues (heel pain, and inflammation) then I have some motivation and someone to start building backup with as he will be in that process as well. He is an awesome guy to run with as he is very helpful and supportive.

So there I gave both sides this time.

I been doing a bit of reading on the Hernia thing and found some interesting information. For one as I read more of the feelings I was like YES that did hurt or I have felt that. Such as the feeling of hunger pains, pains in my right groin area or pains when I coughed. So I am a bit more comfortable that we are on the right track.

Results of MRI are in.

2008-04-28T11:24:00.001-06:00

I know gator will freak if he doesn’t get a post or answer.

I been and got my results. The MRI showed that there is a lot of inflammation in my pubic bone area. It is called osteitis pubis. He and I talked a bit more and discussed what I had been doing. No running (OK I was an idiot, but it was only 2 miles). Spinning should not bother it and in fact it doesn’t and I seem to feel better when I am done spinning. After more discussion and talking about the pain being there even when not exercising and where the pain was he did more reading and then checked me again in a few more ways.

He had me stand up again and again did a bit more searching for a hernia. He tested and pushed and prodded and suddenly he had me jumping in pain.

Doctor: Did that hurt?

Me: Yes

Doctor: How about now?

Me: YES!

Doctor: Can you give me a cough?

Me: Tried a measly sputter. “NO not with you pushing on that (as I am yanking away). Now quit pushing there.”

Doctor: Here is a number of a great Hernia surgeon.

So apparently, I have this thing called a sports hernia. It is a small hole in the bottom of my stomach that leads into my manhood area on the right side. They will now have to go put a needle in my stomach blow me up like the Michelin Man (I am already FAT enough) and then go in with s scope and put a small patch in my stomach.

Apparently though this should remove all my pain and by the time I get through this surgery and healed I will not have to worry about the Osteitis problem.
I have an appointment now with the Surgeon on Wednesday at 4pm.

INFIERNO SI!

2008-04-27T15:58:00.002-06:00

I didn't know it Bunny and Early would see my comments so I put it here as a post. We all want you to continue to post and visit with us.

Yes Gator I was an idiot, and you know what I will be again I am sure :)

How come Renee doesn't post?

What a weekend. Lots of softball with cold windy weather. I can't seem to give up being a part of my daughters sports life. I have coach her softball every year till this year. So I am just a dad now. NOT good enough and I can't just be a watcher. So I am taking over the score keeping. I have never done that but I jumped in with both feet this weekend. Feels like I am part of the game again with her.

I also got a bike ride in. Lots of car repairs and cleaning in my garage. Got my buggy up and ajusted and ready to drive for the summer. Saw a play at the high school. I hope everyone else is having a great weekend.

I D 10 T

2008-04-25T10:48:00.001-06:00

Renee the problem with that is that your friend was already home and thus he would not believe she was still there. You missed the part she had come home and said she was at a friend’s all night. But I get the point and I would be say yep my friend was here last night and left just a bit ago. I would always cover for my friends.

To answer gator again, another concert I would love to attend would be Boston at Red Rocks.

If it wasn’t for your comments my post today was going to be easy. I was going to post simply

BUGGY is an IDIOT! (No details)

Northern Conference Winners

2008-04-23T23:04:00.004-06:00

Today was a busy day and it ended on a high note. I got off from work and was out on an errand when Joe, a friend called, me out of the blue. He asked me if I wanted to go the Eagles game. The Eagles is a local hockey team. It was a 3-3 series and was game 7 in the play offs for the Northern Conference. Game was in just over an hour.

I said give me 15 minutes and I would let him know. My wife was out of down at a lacrosse game for our son. I had my daughter to get to some church things for the night. So I called my sister and asked her if she could pick up my daughter, she said yes. I then tried to call my wife 3 times with no answer. So I texted her a simple message “I won’t be home tonight.” It wasn’t but 2 minutes after the text went out my phone was ringing. She asked why and I said I was invited to the hockey game. I took care of the daughter and would be home late. She never asked who I was even going with, though I did tell her.

I told Joe about my wife not answering and the conversation above. Then I told him drop me off here my girl friend should be along shortly. He laughed and told the following joke which I had heard before but is funny.

Friendship among women: A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's house. The man calls his wife's ten best friends. None of them know about it.

Friendship among men: A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's house. The woman calls her husband's ten best friends. Eight of them say he slept over. Two claim he's still there.

It turned out to be a really great night out with a guy friend. Had some beer, watched some hockey and our home team, the Eagles, won in the end 3-2 becoming the Northern Conference winners. They will be going for the cup now. AND I got in home in time to catch the last half of the Nuggets vs. Lakers game.

MRI Update

2008-04-22T16:02:00.000-06:00

The doctor’s office just called me. The nurse said they have the results and the doctor wants to visit with me. So I am scheduled for Monday the 28th at 8:30. Thought I would let you know so Gator can relax and count down the time till then.

No More Whining

2008-04-22T13:50:00.004-06:00

No more whining from me. I will though post the results when I hear them, but I would not hold my breath as I bet they find nothing. Any takers on that bet?

The issue of me feeling at times like I have been kicked in the boys is small and trivial when I look at some other things happening around me. I am sucking it up and going to deal with it from a different point of view. I have found that if I exercise, spinning class seems to help and as like today I went in there and after a short period of working out it numbs and goes away. So I am going to start riding first then try running immediately after to have it numb and then I will get my workouts and be a happy Buggy boy again. YES I been hearing murmurs about my mood and I will get that changed, I promise see me smiling ~~smiling~~.

Here is an example. I just heard from my mom about my sister who is at this moment very upset and heading to see a doctor. As most of you know she recently underwent a HUGE surgery where they rebuilt her pelvic floor. She was in the hospital almost at times we think to pass away from the surgery for almost a month. She has been having some problems and had a CAT scan this week. Hers came back with the following.

First she has a hole in her bladder that was caused by her initial surgery. The doctors with all their knives etc must have nicked the bladder causing the hole. Now a piece of her bowels is sticking into the hole and she is looking at a surgery to go in and remove that and sew the hole shut.
Second she has had this hard spot on her stomach. They found that her stomach muscle has herniated through and is now sticking out. I don’t know how all that works but it is not good. So that means surgery for that.

So here is my thought. My sister who is going through all this still brings me a protein shake almost every day and has all these issues and I don’t hear one word of complaint out of her. She barely talks about it with me when I am asking. She is a touch little cookie and a role model I should follow. The only difference though is I write about stuff in a journal, this blog, and people get to read it and she doesn’t.

Cry Baby

2008-04-20T21:44:00.000-06:00

Went to my daughter’s tournament today and they won the first game and lost the second game. They seem to have a hard time winning 2 games in a row. The coach said every 4th game they fall apart but I think it is a bit faster than that.

All weekend I been fighting some depression feelings. My wife asked me yesterday what was wrong but I could not really answer her. Only that the pain yesterday was bad all day along with other pressures I was feeling. Today was better though as we returned home from the softball tournament and I went for a bike ride. I rode 8 miles of hills and then ran across a friend that I visited with for a short time. Seeing friends like that seems to help some when you can visit about the ride or run. Afterwards I put the bike up and thought I would try a short run since I was feeling good. I made it all of a 100 feet and the pain sucked and I quit and walked back to my truck in a pissy mood. I am starting to think I am a cry baby with this.

The timing of Emails.

2008-04-20T09:47:00.004-06:00

Interesting a friend of mine I met over 10 years ago on a business trip, seen only once since, always kept some contact and I have not had an email from her in almost a year just sent me this.

Think about this for a minute...

If I happened to show up on your door step crying,
Would you Care?

If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something Happened,
Would you come?

If I had one day left, to live my life;
Would you be part of that last day?

If I needed a shoulder to cry on,
Would you give me yours?

Next Week

2008-04-19T21:25:00.001-06:00

This post is for Gator. Thanks for checking in and commenting. It is 48 hours not including weekends. :( SO I should know probably Tuesday would be my guess.

Pain all day today.

2008-04-19T19:51:00.001-06:00

Last night we picked up some friends and went to have dinner and drinks. We ended up at PF Chang’s and had a blast visiting and eating Lettuce Wraps and drinking, for me 3 Asian Pear Mojitos. We had driven our friends but in the end the wife and I both drank a bit too much and ended up turning the keys over to our friends to drive us and our van home.

We went to their house where we played a game on the PS2 called Rock Band. I ended up drumming, playing Base and Singing vocals for songs. It was a fun game. Here I continued drinking Jeremiah Weed whiskey. My wife and I finally ended up at home a little after midnight where we had to get the kids to their own beds.

We had to get up at 5:30 to prepare and leave for a softball tournament today. As the wife and I got up and moving she said we can’t do that again, as we are too old to drink all night and then have to be softball parents all the next day.

As for me it ended up being a pretty rough day. I had awakened near 5am in pain. The pain today felt like someone had kicked me in my private parts. It was bad enough I took 800 mg of Ibuprofen trying to get it under control. For most of the day until near 6pm it felt like I had been kicked as said and I was recouping from it all day. Once that pain left I seemed to move into my stomach and I have been just in that dull pain the rest of night. As I write this I keep getting stomach cramps.

NO Quitting!!

2008-04-18T14:37:00.003-06:00

Hi Buggy

Just wanted to send this email back to you that you sent me over 2 years ago! So, just remember where you started and all the accomplishments you have made over the last few years. Since you are on the WWR team this year you can not quit or retire for at least another 4-5 months so I thought you might just need a little inspiration again.

-----Original Message-----
From: Buggy
Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2005 10:34 AM
To: Running Friend
Subject: RE: Tues Run

You are very funny and I am glad I have joined your club. I hope I add some fun and challenges to the group as well as the nerdy part. Thanks for doing such a great job.

So with that I had a total of 1:13:24 for my 8 miles last night. That is a
9:11 pace for my night with the 2 rest periods. I also now have a Achilles on my right leg hurting. I will have to baby it some this week but I hope I have not hit a limit to the distance and it is just a stretching thing.

Thanks for the update and you really didn't have to be all that exact.
I just like to know close to what I did so I can watch for improvement.

See you Saturday and thanks for being a good coach and friend.

Buggy

-----Original Message-----
From: Running Friend
Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2005 9:48 AM
To: Buggy
Subject: Tues Run

Tuesday Night Club,
For those of you who need to be exact in your running diary (Buggy), our run last night was 2.08 miles out so I think you can round it up to 2.1 and call it 4.2 total. We were 19:58 on the way out so that is ~ 9:36 min per mile pace and it took us 18:22 to come back which was is 8:50 min/mile pace. Total run time was 38:20 min. We almost made the goal but I think we just started out a little bit fast as I had planned on 10min/mile warm up pace, but it's great that we are getting close to running our race pace in training one day per week. That means your race pace will continue to get faster. Good job! See you on Saturday.

Running Friend

MRI Done

2008-04-17T20:19:00.001-06:00

Ok I have officially been through the MRI. I drove to the hospital where I submitted my paper work and went through registration. I got some new young kid that was going through training. Everything he did was point blank straight up off a check list and I could tell he was nervous. The guy training him was pleasant enough and helped the other guy through it.

Here is where I got this strange feeling. As they put the plastic check in name bracelet on my wrist it hit me I was being checked into the hospital. This was the first time I can ever remember having had a name bracelet on. I might have as a baby with tonsils out. I have never had surgery. I have never been sick. I have never had to do this for myself and it felt a little strange there all by myself when this was happening. I thought to myself I am getting old. I am getting my first taste of what old people go through with in and out of doctor’s offices and hospitals. I did not want anyone to come with me and sent my wife off to our son’s lacrosse game and I was fine it just felt weird is all.

He escorted me to a volunteer lady that led me to another check in lady for the x-ray area where I again checked in. As I checked and every time I was handed off to another person I was asked my name and birth date. I looked at my wrist band and it had all the information and I saw my age of 42 M. I took notice that saying I am 42 does not sound old but when you see it on a hospital name band in black and white again an eerie feeling came over me.

After a short wait again I was now led by a guy to a nurse’s area. Here a nurse attempted to put an IV in my right arm to no avail it failed. They always have a hard time with my veins. Another lady came over and then tried to put the IV in my left wrist. She was successful. I have now had my first successful IV in my body. Here they also asked me about allergies and I said Penicillin to which I gained yet another RED wrist band. CRAP I am racking up the first’s and feeling older by the moment.

They then led me to the room with the big circle MRI machine. Here they had me get in my sweat pants I brought take off watch and all other items. They laid me on a table and then strapped me in. The table lifted into the air and slid me into the circle. I had to lay there with my arms over my head for the next 45 minutes. They provided music and I laid there listening to this machine rumble, country music, the guy occasionally putting something in my IV to give me color for the scan.

When I was done I was allowed to change again. They removed the IV, cut off the name bands and said have a great day. Now we wait 24-48 hours for them to read the scan and send to my doctor. We wait again to find out nothing is wrong with me except do not run, play basketball, softball, or anything else that will aggravate myself. That is still my prediction and I have a bad attitude towards it I know. I am struggling with it all right now.

WOW

2008-04-17T07:03:00.002-06:00

So I went and played basketball this morning. I started to play and the darn pain just sucked but I continued on and though it never went away it became tolerable. We played just short of an hour. When we were done and saying goodbye I was walking out and one of the guys yelled BUGGY. I stopped and turned around.

He walked up and asked if he could pray for me. I was ummm sure for what? He said we know your going for a MRI today and would like to pray for you. We talked a bit and then 4 sweaty guys all circled me, layed a hand on me and the guy layed down an awesome prayer. I have done this for people but it was the first time anyone ever prayed for me like that. I left a bit in a state of awe and inspired.

Can't Sleep

2008-04-17T04:57:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I must have not looked good. My boss even told me so and said if I didn’t feel well to go home any time. If I felt I needed to continue to work I she even said go home get in jammies and then work what you need from bed if I would feel better. Hmmm I didn’t think I looked that bad????

Yesterday my mom called. They need my help pouring concrete at my sister’s house. They need me available around 2:30 this afternoon. I told her I would see about getting off work and being there to help. Then I remembered my appointment. I had to tell her I couldn’t and why and she was like WHAT? You didn’t tell me you were going to do that. Then she wanted to know about the pain etc. I kind of wish I had just said I would be there and cancelled the appointment.

Last night I ended up going to bed around 10:30 then didn’t go to sleep till around midnight. When I did finally go to sleep it was restless and sucked. At 4am I decided to cut my losses and got up and did some work. Why can’t I sleep you might ask. Well a whole gob of issues from paying for the test, doing the test, some of it is actually pain last night making me uncomfortable, renters not making their payment, and then some other issues about needing to do some research on other issues so I am up to date on them.

Well this should make for an interesting day. I am going to go play basketball now at 5:30am. Then work my day, and at 4 go to my MRI. I did last night late get an email from my boss saying “Thinking of you and your MRI. Take all the time you need and if I need anything give her a call.” I thought that was very nice it helps to know I can do what I need for time.

I know I won't find anything out today as they will just run the test and then the doctor will have to look it over later. BUT here is my prediction. I am spending $3000 for peace of mind that I am not really sick. The Doctor will tell me no more running or basketball. I will get fat, lazy and end up dying like my uncles within the next 10 years of a heart atttack because I will not be allowed to exercise.

MRI Scheduled

2008-04-14T20:47:00.001-06:00

What is with Bunny and Early's site done?

Today was Cathy’s Funeral. It was a rough one again watching a family say good bye to their mother and wife. She was only 46. When her dad got up and spoke about his daughter and her passing the place erupted in tears. It was hard to sit through.

Sunday night I was sitting watching TV and my wife asked how I was feeling. About then she saw me hold my stomach. She said I guess that is my answer she texted me this morning that my MRI is scheduled for Thursday at 4. So Gator you don’t need to send Cubed or Angel over to hurt me more.

Friends are what it is about.

2008-04-13T21:31:00.000-06:00

I have been fighting the stomach pain most of the day. I had a bit of relief after I took some Aleve this morning but it has been a slight dull nagging pain all day. When it leaves I am like no MRI then I get it back and I am thinking I need to get it with all the other stories I am hearing now. I will try to explain.

There was David who went to the doctor for a back ache and they found his cancer. Cathy just passed away due to a fight with cancer. While at Cathy’s viewing tonight we were talking about another friend of Cathy’s that just went in for a sore side in November and just passed away last month on them from a cancer. All these people are not much older than I am and I am fighting this stomach pain. Honestly I really do think it is nothing and I don’t want to do it to find out it is just going to have to run its course with less running. BUT on a side note, I have not admitted this yet but there is a bit of worry what if they find something in me? :(

At Cathy’s viewing we walked in and saw many other friends. Some I have not seen in a while just due to busy lives. Something is wrong with that statement. We hugged and talked for a bit. I visited with Jerry (Cathy’s husband) a bit and he is holding up well so far. I think I need to put a marker in my mind to after all the family is gone take him out for a beer or get him to start coming and playing some basketball with me. He will need to talk and release I am sure in time.

We went in to see Cathy for the last time and again this cancer and people dying around me is just plain sucking. She looked stiff and almost plastic about the same as David did. Viewings are tough to see the person lying there not really looking like themselves and to think that person will never again hold a loved one’s hand, walk with the sun on their face, or smile at a friend. They are only a memory to the people that knew the person.

Right now at 7pm my watch alarm goes off. I consciously hit the button to stop it ringing every day. When it goes off I take just a second and reflect on the last 24 hours of my life. Standing at 2 different friends viewings in the last month makes it ever more important that I take that moment each day to reflect not only on what I did for the day but who’s life did I touch for the day. It is important to treat people in your life with respect, honesty, compassion, and love for tomorrow you or they could not be here.

Pains

2008-04-13T07:54:00.000-06:00

I have now not run for 3 weeks. Saturday I got up and went and did the spinning class again. This last week I played Basketball for an hour on Sunday night and an hour on Tuesday morning, did spinning for a hour on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I did get on a treadmill yesterday morning and as soon as I turned up the pace from a walk I went into pain. In the end I have now made it 3 weeks and my weight has remained constant still. I am trying to weather out and adapt so I don’t start ballooning out into some fat, obnoxious, nerd again.

Then I worked for about 6 hours. I removed 11 databases off of a server, uninstalled the 10G version of Oracle, installed Oracle 11G and then replaced all 11 databases. When said like that it seems like an small easy task but considering all the scripts and prep work to be ready to do that and time it takes for the data and scripts to run it took some time. For the most part I was alone at work the whole day with a only 3 other people stopping in for various reasons at work and my mom who brought me a juice. SO I cranked the music and let the machines chirp away.
I went and say the movie Leatherheads that evening. It was a pretty good movie. Very light hearted with some humor. My daughter enjoyed it.

I have been on Aleve now for a couple weeks and decided to wean myself of that since I am not running and see how things go. I quit taking the Aleve on Thursday night. This morning as I write this even I am in pain. I was lying in bed this morning trying to sleep in a bit and finally gave up as I could not lay anywhere comfortable anymore. So did all the cycling and basketball aggravate me more or was the Aleve masking it. When I tried the treadmill the pain was quick to return. I would have to say that at this point now I am getting a bit more concerned. You would think after 2 weeks of Aleve to help the inflammation, no running and only a small bit of exercise balance the pain would be lessening. I am again frustrated with this. Can I scream ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH $#@#%#@ PAIN.

There now to put it all in perspective today we will be attending a viewing of our friend Cathy. Tomorrow is her funeral and I will be out of town for work so I need to go to this. It will suck.

SO it is only 7:45am on Sunday and already not very excited about the day.

Happy Birthday

2008-04-11T22:02:00.001-06:00

On Wednesday I received a text from my son. It simply said Cathy Died last night. This is another friend of our family. I have coached basketball with her husband and they live in the same neighborhood as I do.

She finally lost her battle to breast cancer this last week. This makes the second friend to lose to cancer now within a month’s time. In this case the friendship is a bit more distant then it was for David but it is still hard. It sucks to think of yet another friend has passed due to Cancer.

Please add another prayer to your list for her family as they deal with the loss of their mom, wife, daughter, and friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my son. He is 17 today.

Pinch taken care of.

2008-04-07T08:22:00.002-06:00

To save myself from being bruised and embarrased I am posting ot state that Cubed came by and offered to pinch me. I accepted the offer but declined the actual act. sorry gator the hug was enough to make me happy and the pinch I will/have accepted from another party and has been fulfilled.

Thanks for staying in there on the cause and showing your ability to hang tough. We can now let Cubed off on that part of the deal. :)

Daughter is loving Softball YAY

2008-04-06T22:42:00.000-06:00

Today the softball games again started at 8am. The girls played a solid game and won moving them to the next game to be played at 11am. I suspected that they would again play the team that we lost to on Saturday 15-0. BUT for some unknown reason that team lost and we played a different team that we had beat before. Well I think the girls got something in their mind and the defense and bats were not there. We ended up losing that game and they took 3rd in the tournament. I guess that is still a great place to end.

I again know it is not all about the winning and competition with my daughter. The coach called her aside for a talk and told her how well she was doing. My daughter came back and told me that it seems the coach needs her and is very pleased with her play. Basically said she will never be sitting the bench as she is the best player on the team. She wants to prove it too and when we got home today I ended up playing catch and throwing grounders etc for her to practice more.

I went and played basketball tonight also. Had a great time getting out and running but now I am feeling it in my stomach etc again. This just sucks. I did go out and look at road bikes a bit this afternoon also. Starting to think should I pay for the MRI or buy a road bike? 

Run Fatboy Retired

2008-04-05T22:23:00.002-06:00

Friday I again attended spinning class. I was leaving the club and the sun was coming up and I was done working out and heading to work for the day. I looked around and thought to myself all is good.

I was for the first time in a long time finishing a workout and was not in pain. I have not had any real pain now for a few days. Then again it has now been almost 2 weeks since I have last run. I am beginning to get lazy and losing the mental drive to run. I am beginning to like spinning class more and more though. I am a bit afraid I will be done running as in the past I quit for months and years at a time. I am a bit sad at the prospect.

Today spent the day with my daughter at the ball field. She is in a softball tournament this weekend again. She again played very well and I love watching my girl out in the field. She is growing into such a beautiful young woman, but still at the age you can see the fun and excitement in her as a little girl. While at the Ball Park I needed to get something out of the car. I took off at a jog and instantly my stomach went into pain. That kind of bummed me out a bit.

Tonight I joined 15 other runners to see the movie Run Fatboy Run. It was a funny movie and led me to a bit of motivation. I thought maybe I need to buy that movie when it comes out in DVD and use it for motivation later when I get well.

After the movie we all went to one of the gals house to have Mexican food and to hang out and talk. I announced my running retirement and got a bunch of slack. Everything to no you are not you have tried to retire for years to are you serious. I am partially serious. In the end it was a great night with good friends.

Some of them are into biking so a concept came up I might need to think through. Spend the money on the MRI to find out what I already know. OR spend the money on a road bike and take up cycling for a while to keep my exercise some and see if I can run again in a couple years. In any case I am a bit depressed about this pain and I do want to go run and not running and hanging with my friends is getting to me.

I been HIT

2008-04-02T22:30:00.001-06:00

I had a good talk with a friend today remembering some great times with David. Though it was saddening in my mind it really was a great talk to do a bit of remembering.
Went to a show tonight again and saw Blast. It was a great show and the music was awesome. My daughter loved it. She and I and the guy next to here were all playing air drums and making blruuurrrr sounds with our tongues. It was a fun night.

I did spinning this morning and all was good for pain. I am still having my deep sharp chest pain though. Wife got on me to call the doctor today and I did but missed each other with messages. Tonight that damn pain is again radiating through my back now also. I am heading to bed and see if I can dull it out in the am with some basketball. I am almost to the point of a couple of things happening. 1 the doctor visit and MRI or ignore it all and quit saying anything to anyone and live with the pain and see where it goes. I really think the stomach pain is the Osteoitis thing and just not running will fix it. The chest pain has come and gone before and I think it is more a worry thing my body does. So just relax and let it all go right?

Gator Cubed hugged me one day and then today he SLUGGED me. Added more pain to my left arm AND I have Angel to verify it she was there when he hit me.

Playing with my Girl

2008-04-01T20:37:00.000-06:00

I was lazy and no workout today. Tonight I took my daughter to softball practice. Tonight on the way there she was ready and anxious to go. She told me on the way to practice that she loves going to practice and she was bummed when the games were canceled on Sunday. This is all new to us. She used to fight us to go to practice. I think that tells me something. The move to this other team and off the “A” was a good move to get her to love it for the game and not the pressure.

Tonight at practice I heard the coach tell her she is her best infielder and she needs to keep it up and help the others. Again I am full of pride that she is doing so well. They were practicing some fielding and needed some runners. So parents usually will do that and I was a runner. Since I have coached I knew things to pull on the girls to make them have to think.

My daughter was at 3rd base and I took off from 2nd base towards her. The girls got her the ball and I stopped and started back to 2nd. She threw the ball and it beat me and I turned back to 3rd. YES they had me in a pickle. I thought to myself the girls will make about 2 maybe 3 throws and I am safe on a base. NOPE! They made all the throws but then my daughter got the ball and took off after me. I thought she was going to catch me but she was smart she threw the ball and they tagged me out. It was a perfect pickle play and they executed it awesome.

On the way home I asked her about it and she was smiling and of course happy to get dad out. I said so what have I been doing for the last 2 hours? She said playing. I said yep I been playing softball, a game, with my daughter for 2 hours and it was fun. She smiled and that is when you know as a dad this is what it is all about, making memories with your kids.

The running though has caused my stomach though to go into pain. The pain is even pushing down my right leg a bit. I don’t know if you remember back a while ago in my writings I was having chest pains. Well they have come back again also. So tonight is not going to well with the lower stomach and chest pains. I am going to take an Aleve in a bit and go to bed. Hope it is all gone by tomorrow morning I am planning on spinning class.

Nerd in a Towel

2008-03-31T10:06:00.002-06:00

So with all this stomach crap I am getting a bit upset. I decided to try and fit in some spinning to keep in shape and not have the pounding of running on Angel’s recommendations. So I attended a spinning class at 6 am this morning before work. It was a good work out and I had a really good sweat. The teacher kept us doing hills and pushing hard and she kept saying base it off your breathing. You should be breathing hard now. I was like crap it is not my lungs that is hurting it is my legssss. Well I lived and I think it will be a good leg strengthening for running when I get back.

The work out was over and I went to the locker room to shower and head to work. Well I undressed, wrapped a towel around me and locked my locker back up with everything but left my shoes on the floor. I went to head to the shower and saw a guy I had not seen in a couple of years. We chatted for a bit and then I tossed a paper towel away and went to shower.

I finished showering and returned to my locker, the shoes are still there BUT I didn’t have the key. Everything is locked up but the towel I am wearing and my shoes. NOW what? So I thought I must have accidently tossed the key in the trash. Now I am head deep digging in the trash in the men’s locker room looking for my key that I am not finding. WHAT NOW. Do I put on my shoes and leave in a towel, do I ask someone to go call my wife to bring me cloths? CRAP. Just as I am standing there wondering a guy says you looking for a key? I said yeah and he pointed to the counter. He had found it on the floor and was waiting to see if someone needed it. I was SAVED by some nice guy and everyone else was saved from seeing a Fat Nerd leaving the club in a towel.

Wife texted me later and asked how I did and felt? I am hurting and she got on me to get the MRI scheduled. Hmmm I will look for the phone number sometime in the next couple days.

Hugged

2008-03-31T07:50:00.002-06:00

Ok Gator Cubed came in this AM and put his stuff down and gave me a hug. :) I will still accept hugs though from anyone else though, Ney, Bunny, Angel, Cheryl, etc....

Softball Begins

2008-03-30T19:13:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was hard. The funeral went almost 4 hours with all that I attended for David. There were literally hundreds of people there as this man was loved by all. He was an amazing person and everyone was crying at this loss.

From there I ended up at the ball park watching my daughter play softball in the first tournament of the year. Softball season is here. They won 2 of 3 games. My daughter is the best player on the team and I am not saying that as a father. As you know we dropped her down this year off the A team to this B team. We did this for many reasons from coaching, to money, to being able to let her swim again and to be a kid and not LIVE softball every moment.

I do have to tell you a bit though as I feel a need to write at the moment. She played Short Stop for the first time in her softball career. She was nervous and as I tried to coach her some that position has to control the infield. It is up to her to be talking to the team and helping with plays as she can see the field the best and most balls come that direction she has to be quick and understand the plays needing made. She did a great job and this will only make her a better player in the end as she learns some leadership skills.

In one game she was playing 2nd though. A gal on the other team bunted and the 1st and 3rd basemen crashed on the ball. My daughter covered 1st just like she should and the catcher fielded the bunt and threw it to her. She caught the ball and put the batter out. My daughter then knowing the plays immediately side hopped off 1st and threw the ball back at the catcher who tagged the runner coming trying to score on that bunt. It was an AWESOME double play between the catcher and my daughter.
So today we were to go back again for the rest of the tournament but snow storms ruined the rest of the tournament. So we spent the day catching up on work around the house. I even vacuumed and though there is still come clutter it does look a bit caught back up.

I have not ran now in a week and I skipped basketball tonight also in an effort to help myself heal. I jogged to the car yesterday at the ball park and hurt and I have hurt a bit today. My wife asked me just a bit ago if I am calling and scheduling my MRI. I told her I would as soon as I collected a bit more money from some sources that owe me. In the mean time I am trying to cut out running and getting to think I am done running and a bit pissed at life.

My Words for David

2008-03-29T07:01:00.000-06:00

David was an awe inspiring individual to everyone he met. He was an inspiration to me as he showed me a lot about being a friend. He never treated people in the sense of the masses; instead he treated each person as a special friend, David ALWAYS shared a special piece of himself with them. I know as I look out among all of you that everyone of you would say you had that unique relationship with David. I ask each of you to look at your friendship with David and I think you will find you felt special with him and that is a testament to the kind of man he was.

Some of you know David loved the water and he and I shared that in common. I would like to take a moment to share a couple stories that I shared with David in our 10 years of riding the North Platte River on our jet skies, the bikes we called them. There are so many I cannot even start to share them all but a couple come to mind that I think point out the person he was.

David’s caring to always help others was shown when one day we encountered a boat stranded in the middle of Northern Glendo on a bunch of mud that was only 2 feet under the water. We were riding out bikes and there in the middle of the lake was this boat and people standing outside the boat knee deep in water. Our bikes ride higher in the water and we rode up to see what had happened. They had driven their boat up through the river channel, which is deeper, and when they made the turn in the lake they hit this mud bar and stuck the boat. It took both our bikes and another small fishing boat plus the guy running his boat to pull it off the mud bar and back into the river channel.

Once the boat was back in deep water there were people still stranded out on the mud bar. David and I started shuttling them back to their boat. Once they were all back in the boat they invited us to a party that night as payment back at the marina. David and I went and had a great night of food, beer and great boating conversations with all kinds of great people. David and I always met the neatest people on our trips.

David’s gave his undivided time to me in the evening talking. Many a night of camping on the shores of the river or a lake we would light a fire and sit around just visiting. Many times the conversation was about sights of the day, Eagles, military aircraft flying the canyons, trains, old tractors we climbed on, and the dang rocks we hit with our bikes in the shallow waters. In other discussions we covered our families and he loved his more than anything else, as we shared great thoughts about our wives, and our children always with a smile on his face. And always our topics included our shared faith in the Lord. There is one small sentence that he said many years ago that has always stuck with me and I would like to share that with you now. David once said “There has to be a God, otherwise how could so many people, over so many years, write so many stories, about the same God and never know each other?” Always made me think the Lord shows himself to everyone that opens their eyes. David had his eyes open to the Lord and he showed it showed through him to his friends.

David made our friendship personal and special. He and I had a secret hiding place. Knowing David I would bet money he had one with each of you. Mine was in this small town bar on the eastern side of Glendo. I believe it is the only businesses in that town of like 50 houses. One evening after a day of riding and fun we took off in search again of warm food. We found this little bar and had burgers and beer. It was an awesome meal. We made a promise to each other that night that if the stresses of home got to us and either one of disappeared to get away for a while the other one of us would know where to look. We would go to this bar and either leave notice of where we were or be there having a burger and escaping. It was always the joke between us that if he was missing I would say to Leann don’t worry give me a couple hours and I will see if I can find David and let you know he is safe.

David I know you are listening to this and as you know I have left out some really good stories that only you and I will ever share. You have now moved on to the best food, drink and bar anyone could ever find. I want you to know I know where you are and when my day comes I hope to find you there enjoying and saving a cool one for me to again share those wonderful memories. Thanks David for your wonderful friendship. I was honored to know you, David and I will so sorely miss your friendship.

Funeral Tomorrow

2008-03-28T07:53:00.002-06:00

I have been thinking about David a lot over the last week. Not that I haven’t before but right now it is even heavier on my mind. Tonight from 5-8 is the viewing. It is going to be hard to go and see but I have to. He was such an awesome man filled with life and energy. He is truly not only a loss to me but a loss to every person that will not get to meet him.

I see an email about my eulogy. I think it sparked something so now they have a send them your memories place set up to gather these. Well I guess I at least started something and what is most important is that his family saw and read mine first to get them thinking of people wanting to do the same thing. This allows everyone a chance to share and that is a good thing for them to let it out and for the family to see other pieces of David. I feel good about that.

Gator left a comment on Cubed’s blog about having cubed give me a hug and to pinch my ass. I read your comments and I to let you know Cubed did fake a hug and said he would NOT pinch me. But another guy walking by saw it and stopped and gave me a hug. Also a few gals at work have hugged me lately. So though cubed failed I did get one and I did smile knowing that it comes from all you in blogland. Thanks Gator and all for caring and considering me, Herbie, a good friend. It was much appreciated this week.

Root Canals Suck

2008-03-27T14:40:00.003-06:00

I just returned from getting a root canal. I am hungry an my mouth is so numb I can’t do anything. I kind of feel like crap at the moment. Yippee now I get to work for a while.

On the brighter side it will also be covered by Aflacccccc. AND id you have a Crown it pays extra woohoo.

Also that other post I did this morning It should not be on yesterdays date but I guess you will read it if you see it.

The Kind of Friend a Friend Is

2008-03-26T20:58:00.006-06:00

As for the tooth issue well I broke that tooth really bad. It exposed the nerve so I have this temporary covering over my tooth. I can’t bite on it or I get pain but the cold of air or water doesn’t get to it. I have to get a root canal at noon tomorrow and then I will get a crown on April 9th. All in all my birthday meal cost me around $2500 in dental bills. Add the MRI at another $3000. I am starting to worry about this getting old stuff with all these issues.

Last night I kind of got my NICE filet mignon meal for my birthday at the local Country Club. The steak was yummy when I added to it the Mojito. At the end of dinner was dessert and I chose the chocolate cup with chocolate mouse mmmmm.

I told you I had received a call directly from the Pastor about David and that meant a lot to me. I called our Pastor back as he is also a friend of mine and of David’s. I wanted to thank him for the personal call and to see how he was doing. We talked for a bit and I told him I wrote a eulogy. He wanted to see it and as they are planning the funeral service he would let Leann know and read it. Either they will use parts of it or they will have me possibly do it. We will see. I will share it here on Saturday as my post.

David was the kind of friend that would give you the shirt off his back if you were sun burning walking across the desert. I know the service for him will be packed as he had MANY friends that all felt and knew him. I would say he has been a motivation to me to meet and get to know people. Over the time I knew Dave I learned a lot about friendship. I have made many changes in how I view friends based on what I observed from David. In a way I hope that shows and people learn from me as it will make the world a much better place.

Happy Birthday Mom

2008-03-26T07:10:00.000-06:00

The family and I were supposed to go the local Country Club for dinner last night for 2 reasons. Well my daughter had softball practice and it got over late. So we changed our plans and went to a Mongolian grill for dinner. I was about half way through dinner and I bit into something that was so hard it broke my tooth. I called the dentist and now have an appointment for 8am.

Since my run yesterday I have been in a bit of increased pain. Not sleeping much and the hurt of the loss of David is heavy also making my chest sore. Last night during the run Cat got on my case and said get the MRI. If I want to be running in a year get it done to make sure.

Mrs. Buggy has been watching me and also noticing I flinch more and has said she does not want to end up like Leann, David’s wife, and thinks we should go ahead and pay for the MRI. I struggle with this as I know what it will tell me but then the thoughts of David having back pain going to the doctor and 18 months later has left us also add weight to maybe $3000 is a small price to make sure.

Also I need to say Happy Birthday to my Mom here as her birthday is the day after mine. Hmmm think she got ripped having gave birth to me at 9pm the night before her birthday as she lay in the hospital? OR was I the best birthday present she could have ever had?

Birthday Thoughts

2008-03-25T07:54:00.005-06:00

Last night was pretty rough thinking about David. Pictures of previous post are some I took of David and I our our life escape excursions. I ran a couple errands and I could tell my patience was at a bare minimum as dealt with people. I got home and my wife was sweet and hugged me and I heard her telling my daughter Daddy is going to be sad for a few days.

With my other pains and issues I have about had my limit. I went and changed into running gear and my wife asked me not to run but I think she knew it was a futile attempt. I left shortly after 5 and reined in 4.1 miles in just over 30 minutes and I knew my pace was pushing it with the side ache I had through it. All I could think of was at least with pain I knew I was alive. I reached the place where a friend Cat works and picked her up for another 7 mile loop.

As we were running and talking she knew I was releasing internal pain and offered to run as long as I needed. She will be going to a marathon at the end of the week and is tapering but if I needed a friend she would have run me any distance last night. She was in fun complaining I was out to kill her though as my pace didn’t waver much though I did drop back some to talk with her. In the end I pulled in 11.1 miles in just over 1.5 hours which is almost an extra mile to my normal.

I even received a personal call from the pastor of my church. He called knowing that David and I had a special friendship to let me know in person. Wish me some faith in the Lord and let me know some of the projected plans for services. I think I will call him today and ask for a moment to speak at David’s services.

Happy Birthday to me if rough this year.

SAD Buggy!

2008-03-24T21:33:00.002-06:00

I had bad news that came in last week about a friend of mine that I have shared many trips with. He was not getting better with his fight against cancer. I have been thinking about him a lot. Part of my last writing had some pieces of thoughts of David and some parts of new friends I have made.

This last weekend I started for some reason writing a eulogy for David as I had him on my mind. I wrote a huge part of one and then for some reason I had the urge to go Jet Skiing. That is what David and I shared in common. I went on Saturday to the local lake dropped my jet ski in the water and went out for about an hour. It snowed later that day and I was frozen but I still got it in the water as I felt I had to do.

Today my AWESOME friend David passed away a little after noon. The pastor of my church even mad a special personal call to me to let me know as he knew that David and I was close personal friends. He let me know services will be held on Saturday. I will post my writing I prepared on Saturday sometime in his honor.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T11:50:00.000-06:00

My family all returned home safely yesterday from Arizona around 3pm. My daughter came running in the door and gave me a big hug and kiss and was so happy to see dad again. My life is so much fuller having her in it and I love that girl more than anything else in life. You hear people say that about their kids and I want to confess it is so true. Of course there are the moments you want to kill them but those are just part of the whole picture.

We will be going to my parents for the afternoon for Easter. It is a bit of a tradition now as for years we go out and have a camp fire in the driveway and cook hot dogs, and marsh mellows. Make smores, eat and chatter with family and friends. There is then the egg hunt and everyone has to go out looking for eggs hidden all over in the farm shed. The eggs are hidden in tractors and hay stacks, and just any and everywhere you could think. It seems that we never find all the eggs and my dad finds them throughout the rest of the year and occasionally we find and egg each year from the year before. It is a fun time.

Thought I would wish everyone a Happy Easter. With some recent thoughts in my head about a friend of mine that is VERY sick and new friendships I have recently made or are developing it has become evident to me the importance of all the friends in my life. I want to say here I am thankful for all of you being around and sharing your thoughts, your ideas, your concerns, and your support. It is all the loved ones and luved friends in our lives that make life something to be cherished and admired. HAPPY EASTER to all and I hope everyone of you have a wonderful day.

Another fun day.

2008-03-17T22:43:00.001-06:00

This morning I got up and took off on a run. I did 7.3 miles and the run was awesome for my mental and the views. I got back and then took my son out and we did another 3.7 miles together. I was in PAIN. My stomach was hurting and it was radiating down my leg. IT SUCKED!

I got back and did some work on my pc and then did a bit of reading to let myself get better. My wife had read up about this Osteoitis thing and it said to do this Aleve thing to help. I started on that today and I think it has helped.

We than in the afternoon went out golfing. My in-laws and my son both hit 51 or 52 for 9 holes. I ended up at a score of 45. I had a few pars and all and I was happy with my score considering I have not played in almost 2 years.

Tomorrow is my wife’s birthday. We were not giving each other anything but I felt a bit guilty. So I decided to go buy her a new digital camera from Best Buy. I found one and bought it and while talking to the gal I was working with told her it was a birthday gift. She said hold on a minute and ran to the back room. She came back out with some wrapping paper and asked if that was okay. I said YES and she wrapped it for me. WOOHOO Rachel was amazing gal taking care of me that way. She went above and beyond her duty to make me a happy customer. Thank you Rachel. (Sweet People)

St Patrick’s Day Race.

2008-03-16T18:51:00.000-06:00

I ran a 5 mile race today in Tempe AZ for St Patricks Day. I felt yucky getting out of the car but I forced myself to take a small warm up run. We all lined up for the run at the start line and I was thinking just make it a fun run and beat my 5 mile race PR of 44:30.

The race began and at the 2 mile mark there was a U turn in the course. As I was running I took count of the people ahead of me. I was at that point in 53rd place. I kept on my pace and making it fun and soon I started catching more and more people. In the next 3 miles I caught enough people to end the race in 37th place over all, and 5 in my age, best I have ever done. My ending time was 37:15 so a whole new PR for me and a happy 7:30 pace for a 5 mile race. I was pleased with my time and I believe it will be a hard PR to break with the low level here. Good thing it was a weird 5 mile race huh.

Vacation in Phoenix

2008-03-15T21:49:00.000-06:00

We left of Friday and got to Albuquerque around 8pm. It was a fairly uneventful drive except the kids were like we hate it here and crying about driving for so long. We got settled in the Hotel and then went looking for food. We found this place called Blake’s Lotaburger when we were here the last time so we were again in search for one so I could get a Green Chili Lotaburger. Mmmm mmmm

I then left the family at the hotel and I went to the local casino to play some craps. Well in the first 15 minutes I lost $90 of my $100. I was like sad, but I flipped and made a few good decisions and ended up winning it all back and had my $100 back in hand. I kept playing and thought I would go through my roll. I did and lost $50 of the dollars on my rolling. I went through another roller and lost a bit more and left the table with a loss of $65. Okay for 2 hours of playing though I guess.

I head home and I get a text from the wife to pick up a few things. I did and then drove to the hotel. I got out of our car and grabbed all the stuff I needed to take to the room and headed up turning around just as I heard the doors click to lock realizing the keys were in the ignition. DAMN! Saturday I called a locksmith to come open our car. When it was all said and done it took him 10 minutes to get in and he charged me $120. That sucked. We finished our drive to Phoenix though all safe and sound.

I am looking at things online and decide to run the local St. Patrick’s Day run. I find one but I can’t find where the race is held at. So I find a phone number to a race director. I call her and apologize for calling at 8pm the night before the race. I explain I am just getting into town and want to run the race. She gives me all the information and directions and then says here is my cell phone number. Call me if you’re lost tomorrow and she looks forward to seeing me at the race. SEE more Sweet People.

Update on my MRI.

2008-03-15T21:25:00.001-06:00

I cancelled it.

My wife and I talked a bit and decided the money was so much and it was too fast of a decision. We were leaving town the next day (Friday) and decided to wait till I return. I called the Doctor and he told me he really thinks it is Osteoitis Pubis. After reading about it a bit online I have decided to try and treat myself a bit for that and see what happens. At the moment I have gone 3 days without pain. I will let you all know more when I make or understand what is happening.

Am I seeing the Age thing?

2008-03-11T13:04:00.000-06:00

For a while now I have been fighting some lower stomach pains. I contributed to running and when not running I would hurt a while and then it would dissipate, meaning that I was still running the same miles a week just the pain was there and gone. Well recently the pain is staying with me and is now messing with my sleep. I will wake at 3am in pain and lay there holding my stomach for a couple hours.

I called the doctor up and made an appointment. I get there and the nurse is pleased at my weight again dropped, but was like WOW when I rattled off all the things I was there for. I have a problem with this finger, and this finger, and my heel, and my other foot, and of course the abdominal pain issue. She writes it all down and leaves and I start to think CRAP I am becoming an old MAN. I have this list of stuff going wrong with me that I turn over to the doctor.

Well most of the stuff is just my older age issues and most don’t need to be worried about in the end. Some of the pains in the feet are from running and both the doctor and I agreed the small amount of exercise pain outweighs the weight, cholesterol and heart problems I would have without the exercise. So we find ways to help and I will keep running.

The main problem though with abdominal pain he doesn’t know what it is. Could be something with big words or a pelvis something again, or what is known as a sport hernia. He leaves the room and comes back saying he made a call and an MRI would be the best way to get a picture of what is happening and then he can diagnose what is going on to help me out. So I get the MRI on Thursday morning.

Now as I return to work I am not worried but upset with thinking of my age coming on. A little upset so then I usually turn inside and hide to reflect. And I am a bit pissed as there are a lot of races coming up I want to run in and this better not mess those up either. Arrghhhh get the feeling?

SORRY

2008-03-09T22:27:00.003-06:00

Due to someone viewing my blog that I DO NOT want to see it I had to move to a secure site for a while. I will try to add you if you want read still.

sorry but hopefully you will be able to still read this with the log in and security. I hope to release it in the future again.

Buggy

B.A.D.A.S.S.

2008-03-09T21:58:00.000-06:00

Today I joined some running friends. They decided to do this run that was to run around a huge reservoir located near us. We all predicted it to be between 16 and 20 miles of a fun. My friends started on the north side of the lake and began running the road that is all hills. They reached 6 miles at which point is where I met up with them. I then ran the next 13.2 miles with them.

The run was awesome. We traveled as a group of 9 friends all running and mixing up the groups chatting. The hours you spend with people like that talking about fun thing in their lives is always enjoyable. This group of people is also so very supportive of each other. It doesn’t matter if your slow, if your run part of the distance, or anything else. What matters if you’re running with them and having a good time.

One of the people in my group posted this to a group email. I thought it was very good and I wanted to log it and share with all of you.

“I just wanted to let everyone know that I was diagnosed this afternoon with B.A.D.A.S.S. (Buddy Assisted Daring Adventure Sleep Syndrome). Apparently, this is a serious condition that is caused by running the entire perimeter of H Reservoir. Symptoms include: Achy bones and joints, sore toenails, dirty running shoes and an overwhelming desire to curl up on the floor and take a nap.
The good news is that this is not fatal, although I've been warned that once diagnosed with B.A.D.A.S.S., it tends to become a recurring problem (usually on the weekends) and gets worse over time.
The bad news is that this is a highly contagious syndrome, so anyone that ran today (or has run with me in the past) is likely to have been exposed, and ultimately guaranteed to get this disease. Progression of this syndrome leads to: a strong desire to run big hills, running in wind and snow and extreme heat, multiple marathons and tougher and tougher race entries.
Anyway, I just though it fair to warn you. I'm so sorry. I don't think there is a cure.....apparently it gets in your blood and stays there.”

And I run with this person a few times a week. Hope I don’t catch it. Ohhh Wait I was running this reservoir also.

Another Nice Lady

2008-03-08T18:59:00.002-07:00

Wow 2 posts today from me. DO NOT get used to it.

Maybe it is because I have been in a fairly good and relaxed state of mind lately but I have noticed a few things. People are generally nice and fun. As I posted earlier the gal at lunch today was fun and joined in easily.

The family and I then this afternoon went to see the movie Vantage Point. We were sitting in the theater and no one was in front of me. I had my feet pushed between the seats in front of me and sitting on the arm rests of the seat. Yeah I know a bit spread out. Some couple game up and wanted to sit in those seats and as they approached I just pulled my feet back to my own area. Not thinking anything of it.

the couple sits down there and then the gal turns to me and says "you can put your feet there if you want." She pointed to the arm rest and she moved her arm. I thought wow what a sweet woman to take the seat but still offer for me to be comfortably spread out. I told her thanks for the offer but I would be fine.

What did she call me?

2008-03-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

Today we drove to Longmont to meet my wife’s sister and her family for a birthday lunch celebration. Today is my niece’s 16th, on the 17th is my brother in laws, on the 18th is my wife’s and on the 25 is mine. This is the family birthday month.

We have all met at the restaurant and there is no one serving us. Suddenly this gal Tabatha shows up to begin taking our order. She is not normally at this table the person that should have had us had not shown up yet and she was covering. She is tossing the coasters in a fun way down the table and one spins off a bit and drops in a kids lap. We all laugh as she apologizes. I say no worries you can throw those at anyone at the table and smiled, then quietly said except me.

Tabatha looks at me and says “oh sorry Princess I missed the crown.” Everyone laughed and the kids ate that one up. Tabatha began working on taking our orders and when she got to me she said “So Sunshine what will you have today?” Everyone at the table looked at her when she said that. My wife looked at her and said “Do you know that is what a lot of people call him for a nick name?” She laughed then knowing she tripped on a secret. The rest of the meal I kept getting Sprite Refills with 4-5 cherry’s for the Sunshine Princess.

Later in the meal my wife is telling a story and laughing a bit loud and pointing at me. (The story was not about me I was just the aim point). Tabatha was at the end of the isle and started smiling. She comes walking up and I say, pointing at my wife, “its okay she get wild sometimes.” Tabatha says “it wasn’t her it was she was pointing at you Sunshine so I knew there had to be a good story I was missing.” Again my wife and her family all laugh and say almost in unison “Buggy she already has you pegged!”

We finished lunch and as we were leaving Tabatha swings by and says “Have a great day Sunshine.” Seemed a good way to the day.

Help and Ideas Please

2008-03-05T08:55:00.002-07:00

I just received this email from Cubed.

“I got this message the other day, not sure if this is anything wrong with our system or not. But it told me to contact my system administrator, and I do what I’m told.”
Cubed

So please everyone give me ideas to give to Cubed so I can report that he does what he is told.

A Great Weekend

2008-03-03T07:55:00.001-07:00

There was this really awesome little race in town called the Leap Day 5k. This race was put on by a running friend of mine to support Project Self Sufficiency http://ps-s.org/ . There was near 150 people that participated in this event on Friday night which was a great turn out on a warm wonderful CO night.

As normal a bunch of my friends from the running groups all showed up to support this race and in most cases they won the race in many divisions. I am really lucky and honored to run with such talented people as I will mention more of this in a bit.
I had also put a flyer on my desk showing and promoting this race and in the end I have 4 people I work with and the sister of one come and run this race. In 3 of those cases this was their first 5k race. I would like to say I am proud of each of them for participating and turning in their first race official PR’s. I have already seen an email and a couple of them are going to run a race this month again.

I had also called a local restaurant and reserved a space for after the race. In the end there was 17 people that showed up for the after race party for drinks and to hang out. It was a great night with good work friends, and of course my running friends.

On Saturday night I decided to participate in another function put on by some coworkers. It was a 22 person Sushi Party. I have never had sushi and being a sushi virgin thought it was time to lose it. I became the rice washer, (the lowest job in a sushi kitchen) and started earning my right to move up that ladder. Everyone prepared the food drinking sake and enjoying the night with friends.

When it came time to make the sushi rolls everyone got a lesson and then sat down to roll up their own creations. I think my cake decorating urges came through as I could not be happy with just a roll of sushi but needed to put stuff on the outside and add to the look. Everyone was to make a roll to take home and I made mine. Soon a guy from work said would you make mine to take home so my kids think I could make a good looking sushi roll. I did make his also and it became a fun topic.

I was at the party alone as my wife said no to eating sushi but I have to give her credit. On Sunday she did take one of mine I brought home and ate it. I think the jury is still out whether she liked it or not.

A friend sent this out. So if 3/1 was 77 and beautiful and 3/2 was 33 and baleful with 35 MPH winds from the north. Did March come in like a Lion or Lamb? Like a Lamb quickly eaten by a Lion? I am looking for your thoughts on which you think this is? With this piece of knowledge I will let my running friends know I did 14 miles in that @%$@#$% wind. Talk about burned out thighs.

Butterfly Kisses Dance

2008-02-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago was the annual Butterfly Kisses, Father Daughter Dance. You can find out about it here http://www.fatherdaughterdance.com/ and maybe find or start one in your area. I been going to write about this but found it hard to put into words the time spent and the dance experience itself. My daughter and I have now attended this for 7 years in a row and again this year was excited to go. That alone puts a smile on my face and I pray she continues to want to go for many more years.

This year was about the same as other years. It starts a couple months ago where I get a post card reminder of the upcoming dance. From this I go out and search to find the picture of my daughter to submit for this year. I narrowed it down to a couple and since they were digital had them printed to submit. Finally picking one of her in a tree this year I get it mailed off.

I then talk to some friend and this year we decide to go together again. One dad goes down and gets us all tickets and then dinner before hand is decided. This year we all met for Mongolian food. The dad’s are all dressed in our slacks, shirts and ties. The girls all made up with hair done, by mom, dresses, and now the new high heels. OHHH my baby is growing up. There are 3 sets of us fathers and daughters for dinner of which we all know each other and the girls all know each other.

As we sit there eating, chatting and laughing some other guy steps up to our table. He looks at us and asks “are you all attending the Father Daughter dance”? We nodded and he said he had attended the night before and had come there for dinner also. He wished us all a great night of dancing and to cherish these moments with you daughters. They are times no one will ever take away and will be remember the rest of both our lives. We are showing our daughters the love of their dads with the time we spend with them.

We finished dinner and headed to the dance. Last year the theme was western and we by accident had dressed western. This year on the way over my daughter asked I wonder what the theme is I said Little Mermaid. More of a joke then anything to see her flinch as being too old for that theme. We arrived and the theme was Under the Sea. She stared at me like how did you know to which I said “I am dad I know everything”.

We headed straight to the photo area and had our picture taken. That is a normal routine and we like to do it right away before the dancing begins and we get all messed up. Ohh and I get to sweaty. After that we headed to the dance floor. They were just announcing that one gal was celebrating her 21st birthday at the dance with her dad and I prayed my daughter will still be wanting to dance with me when she hits that age. I think she will.

We danced the chicken dance, the Macarena, and other fun line dances. As we danced the night away only stopping for brief moments for a drink I began to notice something new. I also took notice of other dads and some of the things that they had going on that I didn’t this year. Though I was enjoying the moment I also had a few sad thoughts that accompanied the fun. Here they are:

1) I remembered when I had to hold her in my arms to slow dance.
2) I missed her standing on my feet during dances to know the steps
3) She didn’t ask to be tossed in the air.
4) She was wearing high heals and was almost to my shoulder
5) She didn’t ask to be slid under and between my legs.

Where did my baby go and who replaced her with this young lady that is growing up in my arms. We ended the night with a slow dance to the song Butterfly kisses and I was sad but loving the moment. I will share with you now that a child’s love is so pure. There are never games, no judgments, no hidden meanings. As I dance I felt her love of her dad. She held my hand and her head on my chest. And the night ended with a drive home sharing the moments of the night.